Welcome to Episode 4 of Dadz R Us! In this episode, we explore the joys and challenges of raising kids as a married dad versus a single dad. Our hosts are Jimmy, a single dad who has more condiments than food in his fridge and hasn't made his bed since 2021, and Jesse, a married dad who emphasizes the importance of teaching your teens to erase their internet browser history.
We dive into some controversial topics, such as what is worse: your kids catching you making sweet love with your wife or if they walk in on a single dad choking his chicken? We also discuss the importance of having an extensive emergency contact list as a single dad, and how married dads can support single dads in their community.
Join us for a hilarious and insightful conversation that will have you laughing out loud while gaining valuable insights into the world of fatherhood. So sit back, relax, and tune in to this episode of Dadz R Us! Also, Santa is real.
If you've want a topic covered in the show, send us a line! dadzruspodcast@gmail.com or visit us on all your favorite social platforms.
Welcome to Episode 4 of Dadz R Us! In this episode, we explore the joys and challenges of raising kids as a married dad versus a single dad. Our hosts are Jimmy, a single dad who has more condiments than food in his fridge and hasn't made his bed since 2021, and Jesse, a married dad who emphasizes the importance of teaching your teens to erase their internet browser history.
We dive into some controversial topics, such as what is worse: your kids catching you making sweet love with your wife or if they walk in on a single dad choking his chicken? We also discuss the importance of having an extensive emergency contact list as a single dad, and how married dads can support single dads in their community.
Join us for a hilarious and insightful conversation that will have you laughing out loud while gaining valuable insights into the world of fatherhood. So sit back, relax, and tune in to this episode of Dadz R Us! Also, Santa is real.
If you've want a topic covered in the show, send us a line! dadzruspodcast@gmail.com or visit us on all your favorite social platforms.
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Ho ho. In today's episode, Jimmy explains why single dads have more condiments in the refrigerator than food and why he has not made his bed since 2021. Furthermore, Jesse discusses the importance of teaching your teens how to erase the browser history. I am Santa. And I am real. Hi. Welcome to season one, episode four, dads are US podcast where dad can be a dad. Single verse married. We're going to be talking some logistics. Chores, child care, all the cool stuff. I'm Jesse. I'm here with my buddy Jimmy. What's going on, guys? Happy Sunday afternoon. 2s So, Jesse, before we get into the actual purpose of the podcast, I got a quick little story I want to share. It seems like a change. You got a story I want to know on the people out there. 2s Like, how how should I feel right now as as a dad? Because so my friend my friend my son had his friend stay over last night, right? So we're waiting for him to get picked up this morning, and I'm flipping through the channels and I hear a knock at the door. It's the kid's parents. Of course, the dad walks in. Usually it's the mom, but they were all in the car because it just came from church. So I guess she sent in the dad. And I'm sitting there talking, and then he goes, oh, I'm sorry, 2s I'm watching your 9210 on the TV. 6s Were you watching the old school show? Dude, I had 9210 on and dad caught it, and I just don't know how to take that tomorrow when I go. First off, I don't think there's anything wrong with watching that TV show. The Reboot. I would watch that reboot. 1s Yeah, in high school, that was cool. Now, if it was Melrose Place, I would judge you. 1s I never got into Melrose Place. It was just yeah. So this dad walks in and he's a little bit older than me. So, I mean, I know he wants but just the way he was, like, 3s dead right now. That's how older it didn't 1s for sure. I was going to say 1s my wife, she sends me up to the house to get the kids every time. But that's not because she doesn't want to be friendly. She's just an introvert. She goes, you deal with them. I was like, okay, but if we get in a ten minute conversation, that's on you. You chose that life. 2s She's an introvert. 2s I would have never guessed that. No, that's why we get together, we go to parties, and she lets me do all the talking. When she gets exhausted, she's like, okay, 2s we out of here. 4s Let's get it all blew. It 2s okay, let's start right off the bat. My wife, she's kind of giving me a reminder today roles and responsibilities. So I do all the grocery shopping. Well, I don't do all of it. I do like 80% of it. 1s It. Now, is that because you food prep, or is that your assigned job of the house? 1s My wife's an introvert. She hates crowds and shopping or grocery store. She does not like it. So I just started food prepping a year ago when I had my second midlife crisis and decided to lose a bunch of weight. So Sunday I will just grill Bill, smoke a bunch of meat, prep all my meals for the week. And you know what? That has done. She is not under constant stress to figure out what to feed the family every single night. It's kind of already made. That's what I run into with just him. Actually, today he is honestly, because I'm doing this. He's been outside playing all day today. Don't judge me out there, guys. There'll probably be a bowl of fruity Pebbles, and he walks. 2s Can you tell me what's in your fridge right now? Now you got Fruity Pebbles. Well, in my fridge right now, we got a gallon of milk. 2s We got some butter. I have some bacon. I need to cook in there. We got a bag of pretzels. We got some cheese for the grilled cheeses. And then you got all your fine sauces, your mayonnaise, your jelly, your hot sauce. We got some sour cream, some blueberries, and some oranges with tons of bottles. We drink a lot of water here, but he does have his Capri Suns. But I have no pop in there. No beer, just water, milk. And his Capri Suns 3s were refrigerator of a college student where it sounds like it's 80% condiments. 2s Actually, it probably is because I'm a one day at a time guy. Like, tomorrow when I get off work, I will stop off at the grocery store. He's supposed to go to his mom's on Wednesday. We don't know 100% yet, so 1s tomorrow he'll probably want nachos. So we'll probably make nachos. And then he'll eat the leftover nachos on Tuesday, 2s something different, like every day. Well, we usually have the leftovers. I'll make a meal, like, when I have them for five days. Friday is usually like a pizza day. Saturday is usually we grill. Sunday, I usually do a crock pot and then like Tuesday, whatever, sometimes it's grilled cheese. And then Wednesday is when he goes to his maz. Honestly, every Wednesday, I hit Bucharest up for a chicken schwarma salad, and I eat that for two days. And then Friday, when I don't have them, I'm usually working at the banquet hall, and I eat whatever they have left over from the buffet wedding, which is usually meatballs, chicken, barbed, or some vodka sauce with noodles. 1s All right, that's just going to remind me to ask you later about I don't even want to get into nutrition. My kid, he'll eat the same thing every day, but he won't eat leftovers. So on Friday, my wife will get him a pizza. Friday is pie day, and it's only sauce. That used to be my pie day, too, when I was married. 2s And I think you're full of crap if you're thinking weekly. Yeah, right. 3s But he'll eat the pizza when it's fresh and you're like, all right, man. Saturday morning, there's three pieces left. Go at it. He won't even touch it, really. Tell him to throw it in the air. Fryer. 1s Brand new. Brand new pizza. Joni tried to teach him to cook something yesterday and he left a stove on. You think I'm going to let him try the air fryer? How can he hurt anybody with an air fryer? It should turn off automatically. They will. You know what we need to add 2s as a show? When do show kids how to cook? Because I've try it. He's eleven, dude. He just don't get it. I want to say at eleven, I was making eggs. 1s I was messing around this weekend, too. My wife was super busy. This literally happens all the time. And he comes up to her and he's like, hey, mom, she made me a grilled cheese sandwich. He's like, what's your dad doing? He goes, I don't care. He makes them. Soggy oh, my gosh. So we talk about chores. I try to do a lot of chores here's. My goal in life on the married side is when I'm gone on the road travel. Whatnot? Or I'm not home. Even back in the day going deployments for the military, I wanted my wife to want me to be in the house so she wouldn't have to do as much. Because I hear all these stories from my bros, man, and they're like, yeah, wives always complaining that life is harder when I'm in the house. That blows my mind. But apparently that's a thing. 1s Yeah. Harder to cheat, maybe. 3s I'm talking about chores, bro. So here's the deal. I would try to go out and do, like, everything, but there's some things I just don't like or I don't do well. Like. 1s Yeah, I made the bed in basic training, but my wife has made it so damn hard because she's got 15 fucking pillows that I don't know what to do with on our bed. And that's like, legit thing. I'm like, oh, my God, what do we need all these pillows? So when you make the bed, do you untuck the sheet or do you tuck the sheet? I make it happy as hell. But she comes in. That's not what I asked her. What do you do? So you're probably an untucked then. If you make it sloppy, you're an untuck. I'm a sloppy bed guy. I'm a sloppy bed guy, too. I try to get up every morning and make my bed, and I don't, and I should, because I want to have my son do that every morning. But I can't even get him to wash glass yet. So if I walk into your house right now, your bed is not made. Let's see. Today is Sunday. No, it's not. 1s If it was Monday, would it matter? Probably not. What day is it made? If you're thinking of looking at the calendar, I have a piece of ass coming over. I make it. Okay. 4s That's not too crazy. 3s No, there's been some a little bit of action after COVID that actually reminds me, my son, 2s one of my sons I'm just going to leave that. A clean tub means love. So if your tub is clean, you're getting lure. 1s That's one of the first things women check when they come to your house. I heard was if anyone saw my bathtub, they could see that's where I throw all my dirty clothes. But my son, 2s my adult son who lives away from me, guys own place, used to come over once a week to do his laundry. Because he's a young man. He doesn't have whatever. So I started noticing months ago he was coming over here to wash his sheets and bedding. I'm like, You've lived moved out of this house a year ago. Are you telling me you're just now washing your sheets and your bedding? I'm like, who's staying at night at your place, man? And that's what it was. Literally the only reason he was washing his sheets is because exactly. I wonder if he cleaned his tub. He. You have to ask them. But I'm just saying, like yeah, I mean, I make it once in a while, but not all the time. But I don't have someone chasing me around the house with the brewing, neither telling me to make it 3s listen, that's the difference. Since I don't really make the bed a lot. 1s I try to do things, but I've been fired from some chores, man. Like folding laundry. I fold my clothes so horrible, dude. I'm the same way, but I have no one to judge it. My son thinks I do it so good he's got no reference. 1s My towels aren't even your socks are mismatched. He doesn't care, dude. Do you fold let me ask you this. Do you fold your underwear or do you just throw it in the drawer 3s when you have to fold? Oh, yeah, throw that shit in there. 2s If I look in there right now, it's all folded. I'm like, oh, my gosh, there's no way I did this. I know my wife did this, but I try to do other things, dude. Like yard work, car work, grill work. I don't know. 2s The dishes. I do dishes. 1s See, I don't have a dishwasher, so I have to manually. 2s Can't hear the dishwasher. 1s You can't split anything. So what do you not do? Like, you probably don't clean as much because you only got so much time. 2s Every day I try to hit a different room. Sundays are always my bathroom, my toilets, definitely. Now I don't sweep and mop a lot because I got wood floors. I swept a day, actually. And then I try to do my dishes every other day. But I use a lot of paper plates. 4s Believe it or not. We do, too. 1s We just do. I don't know why. 3s My wife and my son 2s where I found the best paper plates. Because you can't find them. Like, I don't want those styrofoam ones. You know why? You can't heat anything up in the microwave. Do it. The plate melts. Like, you can't put a hot, fresh grilled cheese sandwich on this styrofoam plate. No. You're giving yourself cancer. You just said paper plate. I know, but sometimes yes, but I'm just saying I've done that because paper plates at Kroger, they like tripled in price. So what I was getting at is the best place, and I shouldn't share this secret because now I'm going to go there and they're not going to be in you're. Okay. The Dollar store. Dude, you go into the Dollar Store, you can only get about 20 plates. But they're thick. They're thick, dude. They're good. Follow us for more light tags at the Dollar General. 1s Is there anything else you'd buy at that store? I buy my paper plates. I buy my paper towel. About your spaghetti, I don't buy any food there by art supplies. I always go there for my birthday cards and birthday bags. I'll tell you that. 2s It's no longer the Dollar Store. It's a dollar 25 store. 2s Thanks. 1s Pretty soon, we're going to be up to the Tunis. I'm just saying, I'll buy a snack there. My son gets candy there, but I've never bought food there. So since your son's getting older, 1s my son doesn't hardly haven't made him do a lot of chores yet. I feel bad about this because 1s I learned my lesson with my older kids, like cutting the grass, yard work. They would never do it to my satisfaction. They will never 1s meet my standard. I will always be disappointed in the effort. My 13 year old, I let him take out the garbage and the recycles. But what's crazy is I got to tell him. He'll let that stuff overflow and be like, yeah, it's cool. I'm like, Stop, bro. What are we doing 3s with the cutting grass? I was throwing that in there this year for him to just do the backyard. At what age did you throw your kids out there for the first time to move on the older ones? 1s Well, of course, because 13 year old doesn't we already said that. You have no idea, man. 1s They only did it when I was away from home on the road, okay? Because I never let them do it. Now I'd make them rake leaves and then, of course, have to go back there and do it right now. I make my 13 year old go out there and pick up dog poop. I say, It's your call of duty. Anyways, he didn't think it's funny. You just told me you were picking up dog poop two days ago. So what's the true story here, Jesse? Okay, so my wife, if I'm out there smoking a cigar, and my wife says, you smoking that big dog turd, you might as well pick up these dog turds. So if I see anything out there, I'll go pick it up. But when I'm cutting my grass, I'll start with the front yard. I'll tell Brody, I'm like, Get your butt out there and pick up the dog poop, and then go to the backyard, cut the grass, and then I'm stepping in dog poop three times. He misses a minimum five pieces and then tells me, oh, it's hidden in the grass like some sort of camouflage dog poop 3s with your 13 year old. Let me ask you this. 2s Do you feel like he doesn't 2s use his abilities as much as he can because of the way you've interacted with him? Because my son, I'll ask him, dude, I'll be like, 2s Go get the salt. He'll go in the kitchen. 2s Can't fight with soul. I walk in there, oh, it's right there. Use your damn eyes. Because we've helped them so much already in life that we need to act. We need to take a step. So with the first two kids, man, I was a helicopter parent. I'm going to force you to do everything sports, school, all this. 1s I'm taking the Gen X approach to the youngest because I'm just tired. I'm like, we're just going to see where this goes and what happens. So I'll tell him to go do something and then come back and check and see how it goes. And then I'm like, oh, yeah, that reminds me. I got to go tell him to go do it again. And when he does it, any kid, they're only going to do something. I don't know, man. You got to find what motivates them. I watched my kid this week clean his room to a degree I didn't know was possible and 1s dust everything, clean his bathroom. And I'm like, what's going on, man? He's got girlfriends now. I'm like, so this is the middle child? No, this is a 13 year old. He's got girls already at 13? 2s He says he does, and he's cleaning tub. 7s Okay? 2s I said, what's going on? And he's like, mom is going to help me become a live streamer, a gamer and all this. And my brother is going to help set it up. She's going to help decorate the room. And I got to make sure it's all cool. I need some cool gaming stuff. And dad, I need new pajama bottoms. I'm like, what the fuck are we talking about? New pajama bottoms? He goes, yeah, stuff that just need a vibe in dad. Just a vibe. I was like, you wear your pajama bottoms with crocs? I don't know. What about these kids? 2s He's going to keep this camera above the PJ pants, I hope. And we're not gonna you know, the problem with having boys is ultimately you're gonna catch them doing some shit you don't want to see. And it's gonna it's gonna horrify. It's just horrifying. I'm just worried of him catching me doing shit. 2s The married guys versus Sigla. Actually, 2s it. Cat, man. There's some weird you want to talk about? Logistics, scheduling, romance with your wife, with the kids, like, out of the house. All right, he's got his headphones on. He's downstairs playing PS Five. He just started a game. We got at least 15 minutes before you ask you for a grilled cheese sandwich. Let's go. All right, 3s well, no, but I get some free. Touch. This is what I run into, right? So, I meet this nice woman. 2s I have a kid. My son's getting ready to leave for the weekend. I get up on her little digital phone, hey, my son's gone this weekend. Oh, shit. Our visitations are on separate weekends. Guess we're done talking. 1s Are you serious? Yeah. You base your dating life on visitation? Like, you wouldn't want to hang out with her if her kid was there, versus you wouldn't want her to hang out with you if your kid was home. Not if it's the first date. Like, if you're just getting to meet someone, you can't be bringing kid. Like, I have a six month rule. If I date someone, you aren't meeting my kid till at least six months. Not yet. Especially yes, especially if he was younger. No, you're doing it. Okay, here's where I'm going to differ from you, dude, because I'm not going to invest six months of my life. 1s Or relationship. Come to find out, it's not a good match with the kid in the future. Step mom. 1s That's a long time. What do you want to find out early if it's going to 1s work? Well, the first thing is you need to work on you and her, dude. And then 1s because, like I said in an earlier episode, she's got her own life, she's got her own house, her kids are going to different schools. If this is something that we want to pursue 1s the kids 4s I knew you were going to say that. Got to put the kids first. You have 3s my wife and I, we used to say that when we were younger, when the kids were really young. Then over the years, we come to the realization that 1s if we took care of each other and made each other better, then we were better able to take care of the kids. If we would have basically not took care of ourselves and did the kids first, we would be a mess, and then the kids would suffer. But maybe that's only works for married couples. In your case, in. Why is your son if I was your son, I'd be like, Why? Before hose, man? What you doing? 2s I guess that's kind of the angle I took. I guess. 1s I don't know. Just saying it out loud, though. Maybe it's way different for a single day. Let's put it this way. Let's say I was a 1s Brad Pitt. Lookalike, okay. And I constantly have women 2s coming in and out of the house. I can't have my son see all these women come in and out of the house. Maybe the six month rule is a little too much since I don't look like Brad Pitt. I only date very sparingly. So maybe that six month rule should be cut down a little bit. Maybe. 3s It is good to be cognizant of what your kid sees, because they're sponges, man. They'll see everything. 3s Kid asked me today, went into my garage bridge, pulled out an energy drink. This company, they're up in Chicago, man. Ghost. These guys, they market these energy drinks 2s so colorful. It's like what they did with cigarettes. Like, back in the day. Get kids hooked up on cigarettes, you got customer for life. These energy drinks. Like, get kids hooked up on these energy drinks, they're hooked for life. And he's like, But, dad, you do it. I'm like, all right. Here's the deal. I learned my lesson with your older brothers who used to drink a gallon of Mountain Dew a day. They would never go to sleep, mess with their teeth, all that stuff. I was like, I don't want to do this with you. Have you ever had coffee? He's like, no, it's gross. I'm like, this is a lot of coffee. I was like, that's why I get you caffeine free stuff every now and then. It's like a treat. You can't be drinking these. Because I have an unhealthy relationship with energy drinks. I drink six different brands. I got a favorite flavor which each different brand, man. Wow. So here's the deal. I told them, I just like, let's treat this like beer. Got to wait till you're 15. 4s I'm not going to do it. I let my son taste the beer. Let him drink some red wine. He doesn't like it. 1s You know, but back I don't think they usually do exactly start them. That shit's nasty. 3s Well, back to the energy drink things with kids and advertising. That's funny you say that, dude, because the C four is the ones that I drink. They got skittle flavors, starburst flavors. Dude going, I didn't really catch on today. Wow. You know, I had a friend of mine who told me that, and he works over first form over there at St. Louis. He's super smart. Business, marketing, all that. I didn't even catch on. He's like, yeah, man, that's how it works. I was like, oh, that's a good point. I didn't realize that. 6s I was just thinking, 3s one of my fears is, like, when I'm on the road, like, in the military and I'm gone and something happens to my wife, like, what's going to kids? But you're a single dad. What happens if you got to go in, I don't know, down for the count? What if you got, like, long term COVID or you got in a car accident? What happens? You don't have anyone at the house to kind of hurry up and fill in. You got to reach out to the ex, like, hey, well, pick up some duties here. Usually my first call is I have three calls, and I do it pretty much my parents, then my cousin Jerry, and then my cousin or my brother DJ because I know DJ works. Jerry's still married. His wife works from home. And then my parents are retired. His mom is usually the fourth choice because it's not always the stable. 2s Place to go. Not in a bad way, but it's like you're my chart. I'll call, and sometimes she doesn't answer the phone, because, believe it or not, what's funny is I feel like I divorced her husband. Dude. That's how bad it is. 1s I feel like I used to be married to her husband. Hates dude. It's a long story. We'll get into that some other time. So she's not allowed to talk to me 90% of the time or to fight at the house? 1s Get over it, you insecure mother. 2s How much younger is she than you? Ten years. And she's, I think, 14. Their current husband. Jeez. 2s One of my biggest fears, going back to your question, was, especially when he was younger, we didn't have I mean, do you guys have a house phone or no. 1s No. Okay. 1s I think I have a phone number assigned to me through my cable company, but no, I ain't got a house phone anymore. Well, my biggest fear was. 2s He was going to wake up one day and I was going to be gone. Just deceased. Dad, like, died of my sleep, wouldn't know what to do. That was my biggest fear. But now that he's older, he got a phone this year. I don't fear that anymore. But when he was because when we got divorced, he was four, so 4567 and eight, dude, it was like I would have told him, just run next door and see my daddy still sleep, and if I don't wake up, son, run next door to the neighbor. Well, we had that story, but here a five year old running out the door. So it didn't happen, and I'm guessing it's not going to happen. The last time I had a house phone, my kids accidentally called 911. It's like just playing with it like it's a toy. I'm like never again we got rid of that. Yeah, dude, I remember when I was about eight or nine 1s and I was a wrestling fan, and Hawk Hogan, Macho Man would always come on TV and they just for clarification. When you said eight and nine, you were a wrestling fan, you grew out of that, right? It's been 30 years. Well, now that my son's a fan, I'm more of a fan again. But yeah, I grew up. But, 1s dude, I called that 900 number so many times. Dude, I got you so much trouble, dude. Every Saturday morning, I would call Hit One to talk to Hillbilly Jim. Hit, dude, I got in so much trouble, dude, I rung up the biggest phone bill in the world. Couldn't even I think I got the belt at that time. So what's the equivalent today the kids doing in app purchases? That's what I'd be worried about. Or Internet porn. 2s Yeah, that is an issue. 2s Man, they got it so easy, dude. I used to have to raid my dad drawer, get the magazine, run somewhere. Like, where? I don't think they're getting behind the garage. Just don't see a boob. 2s This reminds me of a story. A mutual friend, we won't say his name, but you went over his house to play some Madden. Yeah, we went 1s so you're playing football, playing video games, playing some Madden. Drop the remote. And then all of a sudden, the VCR kicked out and start playing 2s where these balls do, just slapping this ass. 1s And we're like, 3s we couldn't find the controller because it fell off of the bed and it slid underneath the bed. So we 5s oh, my God. And we finally found it, dude. And we shut it off, and Pete comes running up the stairs. Why are you guys 3s okay? He hasn't listened. Pete? Pete the lady street. 1s And we're like, just so glad his mod didn't come up, dude, because that would have been embarrassed. Did you imagine 1s the pause of this guy? Just to have porn sitting in his room, just out in the VCR? Like, no big deal. 3s My kids took I guess you're right. You're older. Who cares? 2s They learn the hard way. Like, learn how to delete Internet browser history. I got my wife asking me, hey, why are you looking up Ginormous Boobies? I'm like, really, Johnny? Really? 2s You think I don't know how to spell Misspell Boobies? Like, come on, you know? 1s Oh, man. My favorite, though, and I did get permission to talk about this one. Just no names. Audience out there is going to just have to pick which kid. But we're in Arkansas after I retired from the Air Force, and Joni and my youngest Brody jump in the car. They turn on the car, and the bluetooth connects to my son's phone. He's in the shower. You just gave it away. You don't know. 1s Both my kids were there in Arkansas. I don't know what to tell you, man. 1s I assure you, Brody at the time was seven or eight. It wasn't him. He was in the car. Okay, well, you just made it sound like two people got in the car. Like, you didn't say Joni and Joni and Brody. I did. We're going to have to let's roll the tape. Go rewind. Yeah, man. And she's like, my wife is just fighting to turn the car off. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Anyways, and Brody's like, man, what's going on with that? Tony's texting me. I got to go bang on the door and tell the kid to get out of the shutter. Cut the shit. 2s I don't even know where to start. It's, like, traumatizing 1s anytime. My wife would catch them jerking it 1s one time, they had her laptop, a nice pink laptop. She goes, oh, my God, I don't ever use my computer again. Like, you walk in, and he's like, oh, my God. The kid's like, oh, something went wrong. You just see, like, pop up, pop up. Babies, babies, boobies. You're like so my answer to that was I bought him his own laptop for Christmas. 3s Does it even work anymore? I don't know. So I made a mistake with the oldest ones, just the access, and I didn't monitor it. So, of course, now lessons learned. 1s I got the Internet on lockdown, man. I know everything on YouTube, the phone, everything, and he knows it. And since he knows it, my youngest, it's deterrent 1s what's that program? Bark give me alerts every day, and here's the download. And I'm like, I have talks with him, like, hey, man, I'm getting a little close to talking too much crap on the YouTube comments. I mean, it tells me what his comments are like. Oh, really? Now? Is that a free app? 2s No, 2s nothing good is free. It's always near that part. We have openings. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what. What are you willing to allow for ads? Dude, I'll allow anything. Dude, 1s chew it. Do it. Boner pills. 1s What about gas station? Boner pills. Chew it and do it. 1s Okay, 2s that doesn't help the single dads out there at all, dude. We got a stockpile. 3s I don't even know 1s how do you know? Do you prep, like, take a pill before you go out on a date, dude? I mean, you you don't leave the the chamber empty, dude. You you stock up. It's like, it's like a six shot, dude. You just you don't take jesse Chase, please don't take six, okay? Unless you know for sure going to come home with, like, a loaded gun. You never know, dude. 2s Do you want me to let you in on 1s I'll let you in, Jimmy. Yeah. 1s You don't need these pills, man. For at least since pre COVID might just help just to go exercise. What are you doing for working out right now? 2s I get up by 05:00 a.m. Every day, five to six. You feel great doing it. I'm an early riser, too. Can't live any other way. 1s We're going to have to end this soon because it's almost my bedtime. I forgot what I was going to say. Dude, I had something brilliant about waking up at five m or working out. 1s Oh, yeah. No, I don't need these pills. Let's get that out there. I just take it because I want to drill into it hard and they don't forget it. 2s Well, me, you only got so much length you're working with. I'm sure that's right. 1s At least I can see it now. 4s You got special glasses. I know. See you in the future. 2s I lost the ballet. You can see your feet again. Yes, that's what we were talking about. So were you ever caught 1s flinging yoga? Hurt? Oh, gosh, probably. I don't remember though. I don't think I was. I knew there were times like I thought they were going to be gone for a while and I'm like, all right, I got time. And then I would hear the keys, I'm like, oh, shit, hurry up and pulling up my pants. I'm just glad I didn't fall. 1s I will say. 2s But I have got caught hooking up with the wife by the kids. And that's pretty bad, too. I mean, I remember one time Brody jumped in. We didn't realize the doors were unlocked, and he looked at us kind of weird, like and then he was, I don't know, seven years old. He ran outside to our oldest kid, Taylor, and he's like, hey, Mop and Theater are wrestling. Come look, look. Taylor, who's sitting out by the pool, he's like, Brody, there is no way in hell I'm getting up to see if they're wrestling, because he just knew. Isn't it funny, though, 1s when parents are caught? That's the same answer you hear from every the parents are wrestling. 3s I'm just saying. I mean, you know, 1s so got another we had another kid who I was trying ninja face. 2s Why are they wearing all this leather? 1s Don't worry about it. Everyone's going to wonder why I got all these costumes, man. I had another kid renamed nameless thought he'd be a ninja for, like, two years. He played Call of Duty all that time, and apparently 2s he got a full eye full sneaking in. And then I would have never known about it, 1s but he told his brothers, he was like, I don't know what I saw, but this is kind of like it's kind of weird. And I feel bad we never got the chance to talk the other times. They're so young, man. It's like hotel sex, man. You're like, you're trying to sneak got to be quiet. Unfortunately, my marriage was so short, I didn't experience 5s yeah, I really can't, because when we were married, it was 1234 years old. And honestly, our marriage probably shouldn't over two years and do it. Honestly, I just was hoping it wasn't anyone make it work. 1s My oldest kids, the first time we're over in Germany, the first chance I got for them, both of them, to spend the night at their friend's house, get the house to ourselves because they're eight and ten. I got my wife pregnant. 2s That's coming up in another episode, too. How different countries raise their children compared to us in the US. Waikim. 2s It's totally different. I'm sure you have some stories about that in Germany. You know what? And Japan, 1s it's actually pretty awesome, man. There's one universal thing everybody cares about the kids. It's not just parents. Some things they find more acceptable, some things they don't. And it's culture. And it's different, right? For sure. It oh, man. So what? I know. 1s Well, this is honestly going to probably be 1s a two to three hour show. We only got on the one thing from our logistics list that you want to talk 3s about. Your visitation. 1s I think about visitation. You're scheduling out holidays probably. What, right now? No, honestly, it's easier now than what it was now. When we first the first two years, we followed it from what the courts wanted. So if he was with me on Christmas, he was with her the following Christmas. If he was with me on Thanksgiving, vice versa, whatever. But the hardest thing was. 1s Trying to get everyone fit into the holiday schedule. All right, well, my mom's having hers on Christmas Eve. When's your mom's having hers Christmas Eve? Well, someone's going to have to move it. So the parents had to start alternating or one had to have one early or one had to have one later. And it was such 1s so you're so your visitation would dictate, like what part of your family would celebrate on that day. So if she had them on Christmas, I had them on Christmas Eve. While my family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve. Well, the first year we were divorced, I remember it was just phone call when you come in. It's 08:00. I said, we're not done till ten. I know, but he's got to get to bed for Santa. I know, but we will be there. So that was a hassle. But now that you want to hear something funny? Because I had a buddy of mine who was divorced, but he was remarried. 3s The mom and the dad had a boy and a girl from both their previous marriages, so they'd always align up their visitation to the other family. So they'd always have a week off at a time. No kids and all that. But Christmas time during COVID they dropped off their daughter off to 2s the parents house. Or maybe it was a son. Anyways, he dropped off one of the kids to the other parent and it turns out the kid had COVID and gave COVID to their whole family. This family kept calling back like, you did that on purpose. You gave our kid COVID just to ruin our holidays. 1s That's something my ex's husband would say. He planted the bomb. He did that. 1s Dude. Dude, this guy is anything goes wrong, they are just looking for anything. 3s Six years we've been divorced now and we co parent. 1s Like it would be 100% co parenting if it wasn't for her husband. So we're probably at 85% because of the husband, which is still good, I guess, compared to other families, but it shouldn't be like that. Sounds like a peach. He probably makes her be a vegan. Dunning. Good. 1s It's. Didn't your wife make you be a vegan 1s for a year? Actually okay, never mind. Let's change that 3s to the holidays, though. This is something you and I have in common. So you have a new family. The first Christmas you were away from your gifts, how did like, how was that with you? I know you're around other people. Me, I was pretty much solo. My Christmas consisted of getting Chinese food and watching 1s Christmas Story over and over in my underwear, so I didn't know the Chinese food was the thing, bro. Dude, here's my first Christmas without my family. In fact, I was dating Joni only for a few months, and she went to her family, where they all made fun of her for missing me. 2s My buddies were making kid or no kid. No kid. We were dating. Well, we're talking kid. Not your first Christmas from the kid. I'm talking about that Chinese food, though. Anyways, like I said, 2s logistics. This logistics. I didn't know grocery stores closed on Christmas Eve because we were going to go have a big Christmas dinner, so we had no groceries. 1s Single guy, and boom, chinese food. Amazing. Played video games all day. 2s Where'd you learn that from? The movie, dude. 4s Arterque got a nap. 3s No, it's classic, man. 1s Kids sucked. Dude, I don't know how to say basically, my wife would videotape it all, and I'd watch it on tape, VCR tape, whenever I got back home. Miss a lot of Christmases that way. 4s Let me see. Kids were, I'll say nine and eleven. No, eight and ten. Eight and ten. This part of the podcast has been edited out. Jimmy does not want to ruin your child's life by finding out the truth about Santa. However, Jimmy the single guy thinks the topics of masturbation and catching your children with pornography is be okay to let the kid listen to. Now back to the scheduled podcast. Yeah, because one, we don't need to lose anybody. We barely have anyone. And two, I do not want to ruin it for anybody. Okay, 1s story. Because that happened to me, my son's, in this Christian school. 2s First grade and three older kids came up to him and told him that I'm not going to repeat it, you know what I'm talking about, because that there was nothing I was so livid and since then, I don't think he has 1s yeah, so here's the deal. My kids were eight and ten and I was going to Kuwait like the second or first week of December. So I was going to miss Christmas. So what I did was I told all the kids, it's like, hey, man, I wrote a letter to Santa and I said, hey, Santa said he's going to come early this year for you because he's just getting too busy. And my kids were pumped, man. So they wrote all their Christmas letters. Boom. Santa came three weeks early. Oh, guys, just in time. I got to leave the next day. See, anyways, I will say that my kid ended up finding all his letters to Santa months later. And he was hot. He was not happy anyway, but he had kids. When you're ten years old, man, kids at school, 2s give me some cherries. Yeah. At six, though, it was a jerk. But I mean that's. Yeah. So my first Christmas is alone weren't I was depressed. Everyone's out doing their thing. I've already celebrated with all my but then I actually. 2s Got into loving it, I was like, this is I can't wait. So now, the last two years, for some reason, everyone's going to have something on Christmas. And I was bummed about it, dude, because I really loved my Chinese food. Looking at the presents that just got opened in my undies, watching football, taking a nap, dude, it was awesome. I was say this, that is literally the best day to be a parent. Whether you're married or you're single, it doesn't matter to me. It is literally the best day. Well, we started what we wound up doing like two years after it. They're late sleepers over there. They sleep very late. Are you trying to show me something? I can't 2s well dude, I know, I'm sorry. I'm telling you, we need more time. I'll finish this up real quick. So what we wind up doing is I have him now every Christmas morning because they sleep late. But now he has two younger sisters are starting to get up. So he would be with me till twelve every Christmas the last three years, which worked out great because they sleep very late over in their house. And I drop them off at twelve and then way home, pick up my Chinese and kick off my pants. And I'd let the wrapping paper sit there for days because he wasn't going to be a fool and. Yeah, not in my house. Like, I see these funny videos because your wife 8s the story is what we learned is around the holidays, it doesn't matter if you have your kids or not, go spend it with someone and get Chinese. It's great. So as I wrap this up, my lessons learned from this is you haven't washed your sheets since before COVID if you wash your tub, you're ready for love. Chinese food on Christmas is the best meal and not everybody knows how to fold laundry. Did I miss anything? What do you got? No, I mean, dude, that covered it. Except I think there's going to be a part two to this dude. Because we didn't tackle everything we wanted to under logistics. We didn't get into daycare. 2s All right, all that. 3s We don't have an agenda, but we do have Jimmy and Jesse, and hopefully you guys stick around for the next episode. And you guys have to tell me this. This was a fire episode. We're out. Fire? Are we going to say? All right, man, I'm out later.