Detroit Adventures and Restaurant Banter

Get ready for a lively and hilarious episode of Dadz R Us as hosts Jesse and Jimmy recount their recent Detroit adventures! While they missed recording there, they share their humorous observations and experiences over breakfast, touching on everything from bug-filled weddings to the joys of crazy bread. Join in on the laughter as they explore local restaurants, loosely throwing in some parenting advice along the way.

The episode begins with Jimmy pondering the curious willingness of people to battle bugs during weddings on the Detroit River. Brace yourself for some witty banter as they discuss the unique charm and quirks of riverfront ceremonies, all while contemplating the significance of combating nature's little invaders on such a special day.

During their breakfast meet-up, Jesse shares his skepticism about coney islands that serve mimosas. Get ready for some humorous anecdotes and light-hearted musings on the blending of traditional diner fare and fancy brunch beverages, with Jesse and Jimmy hilariously exploring the pros and cons of this unexpected pairing.

In a surprising twist, Jimmy dives into the world of breakfast hams, comically explaining the abundance and variety available in today's market. From classic cuts to gourmet options, he leaves no stone unturned in his amusing exploration of breakfast meat.

As the episode pivots to restaurants, Jesse and Jimmy find themselves loosely dispensing some parenting advice amid their playful whining about the industry. Prepare for some light-hearted rants and tongue-in-cheek observations as they share their experiences and discuss the challenges of dining out with kids in tow.

But the playful banter doesn't end there. Jesse makes a bold claim that you can buy a birthday cake at McDonald's, leading to an amusing discussion about fast-food birthday celebrations and their unconventional cake offerings. Meanwhile, Jimmy can't contain his excitement for Little Caesar's crazy bread, showcasing his undying love for this scrumptious treat.

Tune in to the next episode of Dadz R Us for a dose of Detroit adventures, breakfast banter, and restaurant rants. Whether you're a parent navigating dining outings with kids or simply appreciate some good-natured humor, Jesse and Jimmy have got you covered with their unique perspectives, hilarious anecdotes, and undeniable comedic camaraderie. Get ready to laugh, reminisce, and gain a fresh appreciation for the joys of parenting and the simple pleasures of crazy bread!

If you've want a topic covered in the show, send us a line! dadzruspodcast@gmail.com or visit us on all your favorite social platforms.

Transcript

Jimmy and Jesse return from their summer hiatus for season two of the Dads Are US podcast. If you get married on the Detroit River, prepare to battle the bugs. Also, is it acceptable to order mimosas at a Coney Island? Jimmy and Jesse talk about restaurants. And what city has better pizza, chicago or Detroit? Hey, welcome to Dad's R podcast, where dad could be a dad at singleverse Mary. And we're back here to give you horrible parenting advice. I'm here with my good friend Jimmy. I'm Jesse, also known as Pig Roast and Fat Salmon. How you doing? How you doing? Pig roast. I'm Jimmy. Not too bad, man. We're all under the weather. I don't know if it's allergies 2s I will say. You sound bad. You sound horrible. We talking congestion. Like, dude, I'm coughing, I'm sneezing, I'm running nose, I'm stuffed up 1s foggy head. Like, dude, it's just everything. Jimmy, there's easier ways to get out of record, out of podcast. 3s I've been trying to record for three weeks, pal. I know, man. So let's give a rundown our little hiatus. It's been a month and god, I want to say what around Father's Day? I don't know. So I think that was our last one, was Father's Day. And you know, life happens. It does. So in that time I traveled to Detroit. I even brought my wife, who was such a peach and so charming all weekend. She loves to vacation and travel. But it was nice. It was kid free. Went up there for a wedding and we were going to do a live show, right? We're going to hook up. But you had a pretty good sweet gig lined up. You weren't going to walk away. Yeah, I had a nice bartending gig, graduation party for a college graduate and I was supposed to get off at seven and they asked us to stick around a little bit longer and I couldn't pass it up, man. It's easy money. You're getting paid to drink and bullshit with people. It's great. I love it. So the first weekend you can mark up to me, but the other ones, yeah, that's fair. You're 100% right. The only difference right now is we can drink and bullshit and have a good time. It's just you and I aren't getting paid for this right now. Hey, not yet. That's coming. No, not yet. Yeah, so went to my brother's wedding. 1s And it's been a trip, man, because, you know, I haven't been back to Michigan forever, and their things are way different than from when I remembered, like, I didn't know that the whole state was covered in construction. That's insane, dude. It's 365, dude. It never stops. Yeah. We meet up with a good budy Pete the day before and hit up some bars. I was like, Yep. Yep. Those didn't change for first bar we're at. And this should tell you about our friend Pete, how well known he is at these local, I don't know, tap houses, drink houses, whatever watering holes, whatever you want to call them. My wife tries to get a couple of drinks, and he's like, yeah, man, I got it. And it's like, him and his friends, they're drinking, probably there for a couple of hours. I think his bill is, like, $20. I'm like, how is that even possible? And as soon as some musician, like, musicians set up, we were in Allen Park, some musicians start play. His friend oh, God, I already forgot his name. He goes, we're getting out of here, man. The band's starting, 2s okay? And then we went to a German themed bar, and the only thing German to me about this bar was the picnic tables. Loosely related it they had some German beers, but you're like, oh, man. So what kind of awesome beers you got in special? It's Florida craft beer. All right. We like that in Germany too. 2s Well, their food there is actually pretty good. They got some really nice German themed dishes, which are good. 2s Me personally, dude, I love the you like the sausages? You like sausages? 2s I like the Reuben egg roll. Dude, it's so good. Reuben egg roll. I feel like egg roll is an Asian dish. Why is this a German restaurant? You throw some German style diamond, you throw some corned beef and sauerkraut in there, boom. But it's good, dude. It's good. 1s I think I had there's a fortune cookie. What else? Have some German cheese in it. You know what, dude? The other day, my cousin speaking of fortune cookies, she got a fortune cookie and inside the fortune, you know what the fortune said? No, not a fortune teller. 1s Pick a different fortune cookie. 3s I was like, Is this some weird restaurants chief way of saying, like, buy more cookies? Dude, I have no idea where she got it or whatnot. She just posted it and I seen it and I was like, that's funny. Oh, man, it is funny. Yeah. So we were hanging out there and went back to Detroit that first night. So you were working that night. And I met up with our good friend Pete, the lady's treat. And he was there with his friend Justin. And this first time I'd met Justin and Justin had his sister there and her husband. And they're telling me all, know what's changed? Gross seal. I was like, I forgot about that place. And they brought their daughter. And I started dropping dad jokes like crazy. She wasn't having it, man. I was probably a bad guest. I don't know. 1s Anyways, hit up the website. Do you know who I'm told you? Yeah. Well, I don't know. His sister. I know, Justin. But I've told you before, you need to do those dad jokes at home. Here's the thing. She gave me those pity laughs and tried to act annoyed. You know, like when you're that you're not quite a teenager, like a tween, but you want to laugh, but you can't laugh because then you're not cool because those things are kind of important out. That's the vibe I was getting. Okay. At least that's what I'm telling myself. So 1s we do the wedding, beautiful wedding, nice. And it's getting ready to rain. And I'm like, every single weather report says no rain. And they had like a tour bus come up. That's where the bride was doing all her hair. And know it's kind of cloudy and there's a ton of bugs, like a metric shit ton of bugs. Near the Detroit River. Actually, this technically Lake St. Clair. 1s She comes out was it the fish flies? I think so. I don't know. Those things are horrible. Oh, man. So the wedding goes off. I meet, I guess, my nieces. I haven't seen them since 20 years. It was fun. We sat the rock that you tell them dad jokes, too. 1s They're like 25 between the ages. 25? 28. I'm like your nieces. Yeah. So my stepbrother is over. Well, he'll be 51. Wow. Weeks. It's funny how I forget 1s how old we are. I'm like. 1s Nobody in high school when we're younger be like, what are you, like, 46 now? They're like, Yep, you my my life plans gonna be 46 and single. I'm just gonna keep waiting to the end and see who's left. Thanks, Jesse. 1s Sorry, man. 2s We'll touch on that later. Man. We could sprinkle in these like man, this product that actually sounds more miserable than what you're going through with your sinuses. Oh, man. Dude, I told you it's going to be a rough one, man. Now we're going to break for a word from our sponsors. Hall medicine, 2s where you can breathe and I don't know, sneak in some black and milds without any head congestion. All right, black and mild. I don't know. Yeah. So after your wedding yeah, we were supposed to meet up. That's true. I got held up at work. But I did text you when I got off neuro, you were like, my wife has passed out. I'm tired. I was like, man, you must have a good time on that boat. But then we met up for breakfast in the morning, which was pretty good. Yeah, 3s I say passed out. You're right. She passed out at eight. But that thing ended at four. It was only like a four hour boat tour. We just went down and I was like, hey, is that Canada? And they're like, That's Belle Isle, idiot. I don't know where anything is. And then I had a cook come out and they're like, hey, Fat Salmon. I made him call me Fat Salmon. He's like, Hey. 1s Goes. That's a Pablo boat. It was half burnt down. I was like, oh my gosh. Because we had talking about all about it. Yeah, we got back. I ended up getting some pizza that night downriver place. And, you know, of course it was empty just by, you know, high school nostalgia. Then we walked around my old neighborhood, and then here it is. 730. Saturday night. 730. And I was like, we're done. We're out. We're all cold. I think by nine, I was out. Oh, man. Saturday night, it was a long day, and you were working, making money. I'm like, yeah, why bother? I'd rather wake up in the morning and hit up breakfast. And that was fun, too. It was funny because I think Pete tried to slow down because Pete came and met up with us. And he's on brand. It's eight in the morning. What do you order, beer wise? He ordered a drink, 2s and I think he wasn't going to order it, but until my wife was like, I have a mimosa. I was like, I thought this was like a coney joint, man. Everybody's getting like, mimosas and beers. Oh, man, she didn't have to drive. Breakfast was good, though. It was a good breakfast. I never ate there for breakfast. And your breakfast looked amazing, dude. Your ham, dude, it looked so good. And your pancakes, dude, look so fluffy. 1s I was going to ask you for one 2s because you had enough there for three. 1s In a previous life, they called me the original Pancake. It was a lot. So only back in Detroit, that kind of ham. They call it dearborn ham. And I don't know what the difference between regular ham is and Dearborn ham. 2s I don't know. Yeah, I couldn't tell you either. I know, I like a nice Polish crockers ham. That's good. Got a sandwich with some mayonnaise. Oh, my gosh, I never even heard. I didn't know there was that many types of hams. Dude, 1s there's a honey ham, there's brown sugar ham, there's smoked ham. It's like shrimp, dude. Like forest gump and shit. And they guys sitting there talking about the shrimp. You got buba shrimp, you got this gun, the shrimp, you got dick on the shrimp. I'm going to have to make a look. Same with the ham. Ham and turkey, it's all the same, dude. They got honey hams. If you've never had a maple glazed ham sandwich, 1s you're missing out. Would it be weird if we run a survey for everyone's favorite type of hams? 2s I don't know. I don't know what the numbers were. I don't know. With only eight listeners now, it's probably cut down to four. That'd be a short survey. 1s We're like, oh, we have one vote for four different types. You're like, oh, to split four ways, 25% vote goes to whatever Polish ham you just said. So the best part, I guess, by that weekend was like, I didn't have to bring my kids or or worry about restaurants or what they're going to eat. 1s If I take him to like, I don't think my kid wants to eat any I don't know, breakfast restaurants. Unless it's 2s son. He's a fan of the McDonald's pancakes. I don't know why, because I think they taste like 2s that's the first one. That's the first thing that came to mind. Rubber flappy. Jacks yeah. And you know what? He loves them. He says he won't even put oh, my gosh. He won't even put, like, syrup on it. My kid won't butter nothing. He just raw dogs. It pancake raw. 1s We butter it up. We don't use a lot of syrup either on our pancakes. We just pretty much use butter. 2s Oh, well, I would say when I go now that the older kids, 1s at some point where they'll eat or order, like, the most basic thing, like, I want one cheese quesadilla. I want one pancake, one piece of sausage. And then something happens over the years where they'll roll into a restaurant and they'll sit there and they're like, I'll take the tomahawk with your finance with a dessert and appetizer. And you're like, you want $100 tab just for you? Are you kidding me with this? Right? So when I'm making jokes about this with my friends, even on the social media, I'm like, does anybody like, everybody kid just go in there and order chicken nuggets no matter where they're at? Mexican restaurant. Chinese restaurant. I have one friend that just comes out. Oh, actually, my son orders steak and lobster tail. I'm like, bro. 2s Go back home, Bill. That's a weird flex. 4s I guess you win the parenting contest on that good, right? Winter winter chicken dinner 1s or winter winter lobster know? I'm like who? And why would you say guess? Are you just joking? Like, would you let your kid even do that? Hell no. So. 2s I wouldn't even let my wife order that. I'm like, no, honey, you're going to make me have to finish half that. 4s I'm sure you 1s wouldn't mind finishing it. That is a good steak. 1s If she can't finish the fish taco, I'm here to clean up. 1s And don't worry, babe, when you get home, you're getting the T bone anyway. Tom Hawk. All right, so 1s what do you got? Story for you, though. 1s You always do. Actually, got a few. I'll start with this one we're talking about because this reminds me as I'm looking out my window and I'm seeing my neighbor who's talking about his kids eating the lobster tails and the steaks, 3s which is weird because he's driving I'm not kidding you. I'm watching this real live here, live tweet. I think he's driving three houses down to another pool party I'm hitting later. 1s Really? Oh, no. He kept going. Yeah, I thought that would have been funny. 1s Dude, that would have been classic. Yeah, no kidding. Unless they're like, dropping off, like coolers and stuff. So back in time. We're going to go back about ten years. Kids playing travel baseball in between games, and there's not a lot of rest. 2s Egypt. It was in Arkansas, in the middle of nowhere. 1s We stopped by a gas station, like a gas station restaurant. It was like a two in one. And you see that a lot in these small towns in the south. 1s And this kid on the team and he's literally like the biggest kid and obviously he's our catcher. He's just massive. 1s And he looks his dad, he goes, yeah, dad, I think I'm going to get the steak. And his dad, modest guy, is like, son, he goes, I know you like steak, but he goes, I can't in good conscience let you order a twelve ounce steak at this gas station. 2s He just knew. He's like, this isn't happening. Not here. You got a game. And all the coaches are trying to tell the kids, don't overeat, got to stay fresh for the game. I was like, have you seen kids don't? Don't give them a bunch of maybe milk or a bunch of sugar. They'll be fine. They could eat anything. I'll tell you what, though, sometimes the restaurant gas stations have the best food, dude. So that little boy might have been on to something. 1s I for the life of me now, I haven't eaten a lot of gas stations in my life, but I sure hope not. That's a lot. No, man. 2s Even as much as I travel, 3s it's hard for me to commit to eating some hot dogs. We got 711s up there in Michigan. They still do the hot dogs and the roller and everything. Yeah, but I'm not talking food like dude, like, there's gas stations up here. Dude, they have legitimate restaurants attached. Dude, I'm not talking the roller food and microwave. I'm talking dude, they got a grill, they got a menu. Like, there's this one in Monroe. I think it's called eureka eatery, and it's attached to a gas best chicken shawarma. Oh, this chicken shawarma is 3s so okay, that's crazy. So you know what? So 1s I didn't really have shawarma until I went to Europe in the middle east. And it is amazing. I would say anything, like just meat on some sort of bread or tortilla, pretty much. That's universal. They'll call it different things. Euro schwarma sandwich. I don't know. No, euro and schwarma are totally different. We're just saying meat on. 1s Actually, I forgot who it was I was talking to about this, but, like, in Michigan, we're really lucky when it comes to food because we have a mexican town. We have, dearborn. Oh, yeah. And we have, like, China. We have a little Chinatown in Detroit, too, and it's all authentic food. Like, if you want some good Arabic food, let's go to dearborn 1s mexican town. Great Mexican food. So we're really lucky to have that here in Michigan. 1s Yeah. So I don't have a lot of diversity here, but since I've been up in Chicago, 1s I'm getting back to that scene. Just haven't really I don't know. 1s Oh, well, I will say, you talk about those small hole in the wall place. When I lived in Arkansas, there used to be oh, gosh, like, this place that got famous. Like, Bill Clinton, when he was governor, arkansas would go eat there. And then when he became president, he there was like, I don't know, DOE's eat place. And I think it was famous. I probably got the name of it wrong, but they had these, 1s know, cheeseburgers that were like a giant pancake, but it's a cheeseburger. Oh, my gosh. They looked amazing. I think that's the ones that stand out where they got the weird. I don't know. Yeah, 3s they have a end up at some diner show. I don't know. Right. They have a unique item that, wow, this is what made us famous. But as long as they keep it like that, though, 1s that's the key. Because Bud S pizza here in Michigan, they used to have the best. 2s Deep dish, like square pizza. I'm not going to call it deep dish, because when you say that, people think of, like, the pie, like the Chicago pie. Yeah, but it's different with Detroit. They're deep. 2s Right? I get it. It's not the same as a deep dish in Chicago, but it's deep. It's not thin crust. It's not regular pancreas. Right? But since Buddies has gone, 1s like, sold and became a franchise, their pizza sucks. But it used to be so good. Dude, it sucks. Now. It's horrible. So somebody literally I was at a fire pit last night, asked about if I got Buddies when I was in Michigan. I was like, well, no, I went to a local place in Southgate that was kind of like Buddies, but it wasn't Buddies. But it's a style that I missed. And I tell people, man, Michigan's like the pizza mecca of the universe, because if you think about its outreach oh, man. Got a syphilitis hitting hard on you, budy. Sorry, man. I've been holding that one back for about five minutes. You're so bad. This must be so miserable for you. You just want to cough as much as you want. I'm like, no, you need to talk to me, and I need to record. Dude, I don't mind. Dude, I missed 1s this. We talked. This is an activity done regularly for our pleasure. 1s All right, so Domino's, Little Caesars, horrible, but I'm talking about its outreach to the nation now. I would say I'm in. Oh, gosh, man. I'm a good eight. 9 hours from you, close to St. Louis. We have a jets pizza here. I thought that was only a Michigan thing. How long before Buddies ends up here? 1s Eventually. It will, I think. Well, it's a franchise now, so, I mean, they're popping up everywhere. Back in the day when we were only there was only one in Detroit and Dearborn, and now there's one in Woodhaven, there's one in Taylor, there's one God knows where else, but it's not the same. They I don't know. I don't know if it's cheaper. All right, well, here's another survey. I'm going to put this out to the world, too, about on pizzas. And we'll do different choices because St. Louis so I had a deep dish pizza for the first time up in Chicago this week, and I got to tell you, I had a few pieces. I ended up tossing it. Now we talk about restaurants, and I can theme this, talk about restaurants. 2s I finally went, I was like, oh, in Chicago, get a deep dish pizza. Okay, I will. Went this place Dijarno's or whatever. Apparently they're like buddies. They're like, they started off one restaurant, became famous, and then boom, it's a chain, right? So they got ten or twelve up there, walk in. 1s It's not very busy. It's a Wednesday night. Takes me about five minutes. They take me to the table, and I always feel weird when I'm traveling. I'm like? Yes. Just one. They're like, you're just eating by yourself? I'm like yes. Thank you. Right? It's established I'm here alone, 1s which is why I should just order delivery and just eat in the hotel. But no, I just want to sit down and catch up on some work and some text and all that, and I sit down, and I have no menu. Now, most 99% of the time someone sits me down at a table, they're going to give me a menu like the hostess. 1s Um, I got I got I got no menu. So a guy comes up. He goes, what would you like? I'm like, I have no idea. I have no menu. And he goes, okay. And then he goes, I'll be right back. And then he doesn't come back, and I'm like, Holy cow. So after, like, ten minutes at this table, I just end up looking on my phone, google the restaurant and see what they have. He comes back. I was like, I guess I'll just do a deep dish pizza. Small, like normal. He goes, okay. And as he is walking away, prancing away, like, oh, by the way, it's going to be 45 minutes. I'm like what? 1s So here's the pluses of when I do go to these restaurants and eat by myself, my food comes out crazy fast. It's like one dish. It's not like you're waiting for a family of six and got to put it all together. So 50 minutes later comes by, and he brings it, and it's kind of like lukewarm. It's not even that hot, and I don't even know how to eat a deep dish pizza. Is this okay if I eat it with a fork? At least a few of it. It's pretty stiff crust. I don't know. 1s I didn't know the yeah, I don't know. 2s We have a place around here like that. It's pizza. Pizza populace. It used to be in Greek town before the casinos were around. I'm not a fan of that pizza either, where everything's inside, I don't like not only it's a pizza to pie. Yeah, it is a pie, right? It's good, but it's only good, hot fresh. You can't reheat it good. It's not a, hey, let's get up in the middle of the night and have a slice. Nothing like 2s this pizza had six slices, and it almost 1s I'm not saying it was, like, fresh, but I feel the vibes it gave me is like they pulled it out of a freezer that was already frozen, and they threw it in the oven, and it didn't cook long enough, so it wasn't super hot. It wasn't cold like lukewarm. I'm like, this pizza came fresh out of the oven. I'm like, this shit should be steaming, and it's not. And I take a picture of it, I put it on Instagram, Facebook, and everybody's like, oh, my God. That's the best. That's a favorite. Oh, my God, it looks amazing. Look at the crust. And I'm like, y'all don't know. I had to wait an hour for this. And it tastes like boo boo. I'm like, pictures will lie to you, man. Social media is manipulative. And I'm like, it's the devil. Yeah. I'm not putting a picture up here to get these oohs and these ODS and how great it is. I'm like, I couldn't even get a review. I kept that receipt, and I was like, I almost want to give a negative because of service. It wasn't so much the food. It was a service. I said, hey, I want some water in an hour. The guy filled up my glass twice, and the last ten minutes, I was like, can I get a refill? He goes, oh, yeah. And he kept coming back. He'd like, bring the check. I was like, I'm still waiting on this refill. He was messing with me. I don't even know. I've never had that happen to me before. 3s Service really counts towards food a lot. Like, if you go someplace and you have a horrible experience with service. 1s For some reason, that food don't taste as good. And you know what's crazy? It was $25. I was like, the way the industry is, I still have to tip him 1s because he's getting paid probably $2 an hour. I'm like, all right. But I can't tip him what I normally tip because I was like, It's not warranted. It's not busy. Plus, he was I think he was high as hell, man. It 2s oh, wow. But like I said, I go somewhere else and it's, like, amazing. It's just hit or miss. I have no idea. And that's it. Like I said, if you have a good service, 1s it makes the trip enjoyable. It makes the dinner more enjoyable. That guy should have gone out of his way seeing you were there alone. Spike up a little conversation. Where are you going with this? 2s Sprinkle some small talk. Hey, sprinkle some compliments. 3s But he should have gone that extra mile that, hey, you from out of town. He could have found out something about you. Hey, what about them cubs? You from sound. Know what brings you to Georgia? Didinos whatever the fucking name is. Okay, case in point, because you just reminded me, two days after this, I have to go to a work social. 2s And this is at a place called Tap House in Palantine. And I'll talk this place up, and I walk in, and the waiter, he comes up, and there's going to be a table, goes, you know, I just need to know if it's going to be a group check or individual. Because if it's individual, I'll just run your card now. And it's easy. You can cash out whenever. You can go and leave. Because they got a lot of folks come up from these corporate offices that do this kind of thing, and they're built for it. So I was like, oh, sweet. Super easy. And he goes, all right, guys, it's Shark Week, and here's our specials. I was like, Shark Week? I was like, oh, you're married too? Because for those who don't know what Shark Week it means, your wife or your better half is suffering from the moon madness. Anyways, he goes, he didn't get my joke at all. I was like, oh, great. I get all these dude waiters that never get my the ladies just laugh automatically, even if they don't think it's funny because they're working tips. They're just better they feel bad for you. Yeah, it's sympathy. They're more sympathetic. So he goes, no, man, 1s we do fish tacos. They do. And fish bowls as their drinks. I don't know what's in it. A bunch of sugar and some vodka. And I was like, oh, sweet. Oh, that's kind of like Shark Week. Like catch sharks on TV. That kind of week. Okay. And then he's like, I'm not married. I'm engaged. I'm like, oh. I was like, all right. Andrew told me his name. And I'll keep calling his name, and they'll never remember my name. I was like, you still got time. Shark Week means something else once you become married. We got to talk about this. And my coworker, who's in like, another manager, his name was Andrew as well. He goes, I got you. Right? Also, you know, spent time in the army, so we were on the same page. It was good time. It was sounds like it. See, but it made your experience more beneficial. Oh, for sure. More enjoyable. And you would yeah. Not only was the food good, the problem with Chicago, it's not like where we grew up, where I could hit up a coney and breakfast, dinner, lunch, whatever at a reasonable price. It just. 1s You can't. Going out to dinner is like, a treat because it is now, especially with these fucking prices. It's pricey, man. And I'm like, I I don't want to get drinks there and run up a crazy tab. I'm like, I got I got life goals. So you talk about single parents first. Married parents, I was like, I think of married parents take their kids to a restaurant, it's basically just logistics. They're like, I don't feel like cooking. We're both working, whatever. But if a single parent does it, I was like, if a single parent goes to a restaurant, 1s it's a treat. 2s Because not only 1s they don't have anybody to share responsibilities, cooking with, like, that's their one way to get out of cooking. Kids love it. I like to cook, though, so it doesn't bother me. That's cool. I like to play video games, too, but I need a break. 2s I like having sex with my wife. I can't do it every day. I should 5s well, I would try to hit that cough button, but I make more noise in searching for it than the cough. 2s It. Out of curiosity, you say cough button. Do you mean the mute button? 1s Well, I think that's what that? It's a cough button. It's a sneeze button. 1s I'm wondering if you could if on your keyboard what the shortcut is. If you just press a button. I don't know, Mr. Computer wiz you're the engineering of this 1s duo, then we're in trouble. Probably 3s here. We're talking about restaurants here and there. 2s How did we go from when we were kids 1s how did we go from McDonald's birthdays to a Zap zone nowadays? Oh, my God. I don't did we do as kids at McDonald's for a birthday? I had a birthday at McDonald's, but we just sit there and color and bullshit, 1s so. 2s It's. It's weird how those birthdays have become crazy commercialized from the time we were kids to now us taking our kids to these things. So I do remember my first birthday party in McDonald's. They also had a playground giant grimace, like, with 3s yeah, and it was great. And we talked about this, right? And you had the ashtrays in McDonald's and all that. And then the last kind of big thing I saw, McDonald's, they kind of phased out all these because they can't even keep the bathrooms clean. You thinking they could keep these toys clean, then they do the indoor play place. There's a lot of changes. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying now, though. Now McDonald's has 1s an indoor play ski, but they don't have birth is there anymore? If you want me to blow your mind on something, 1s you can go. I want you to try this out. I want you to go. It won't be on the menu. 1s But you can go to McDonald's and order a birthday cake. Think it's like $25. 1s And it's the same type of cake you had. 1s They keep them in the back, in the freezer sometimes. Only the managers know about it. 1s And you say, I want a birthday cake. And and don't be surprised if someone at the counter is like, do we serve those? You're like, can you ask a manager if you guys serve birthday cakes? Or just ask you don't even have to order it's. $25. How do you know this? 1s You're going to have to trust me on this one. How do you know this, though? I've seen it done. I've been in a McDonald's 1s and I've seen a guy order how do you know it's the same cake from when we were kids? 1s Like, you remembered that taste? You're like, oh, my God, I'm dying for a McDonald's cake. Okay, so I didn't taste I've seen this done. I didn't taste it. It just looked the same shape. I don't even remember what it looked like. You remember what every single one of your birthday cakes look like. Not everyone. I mean, we're talking, but you remember specifically the McDonald's birthday cake. All right. Or as it was it he opened it. He ordered it, opened it. And when you seen it, a memory. Oh, my God. That was my fifth birthday cake I've ever had. That's pretty accurate, actually. So I'm going to do another survey, and I'm going to ask the audience if they knew that McDonald's sells birthday cakes. I bet you no one does that. Dude, that's a TikTok thing. Dude, I'm about to go to McDonald's right now on my TikTok account and be like, hey, can I get a birthday cake? That'd be great. Dude, I am going to do it. I'm going to put it on our social. Oh, man, if you film that, that would be amazing. I will. You know what, though? But knowing my luck, after I talk all this shit, they'll be like, dude, I have three McDonald's around me. They're like, get the fuck out of here, right? If one of these McDonald's doesn't have it, then I'm going to call your bluff. But, dude, I got within a mile apart. Dude, I'll roll up in one, like, birthday cake. 1s $25. That's a little steeper birthday cake. Is it? It must be an ice cream cake. If it's in the freezer, how do you know where they store it? 1s I'm gonna Google. How do we know it's not? I have to Google this because I'm like, I now I'm doubting what I saw if it was real life or it was a prank in front of people. You've seen that shit, like, where people do weird stuff in front of other people just to get other people's reactions. Right? I can't trust the world. You you grew up in Southgate. We're talking about birthdays and this and that. Did you ever go to the Little Caesar's Pizza Palace? Oh, my God. On Eureka Road? Why? Okay, so we had Neighborhood Turf Wars, showbiz versus 2s why does why did Chuck E. Cheese not expand on that idea to get into that market space with Chuck E. Cheese and showbiz? Because that was amazing. 2s Well, you have me confused. What are you talking about? Okay, so that Little Caesars you're talking about, it's not right. Where most of the audience would think of Little Caesars, they think of hot and ready, ten minutes go. But where we grew up, little Caesars was like a straight up pizza joint. Not this. And their big gimmick was pizza. Pizza. You buy one pizza, you get another pizza. And it came in one long oblong, like a rectangle container, and it was covered. Yeah, it wasn't even a box. Right? But in Southgate, Michigan, they had this building that had basically, like, a McDonald's play, but on steroids. Then they had a couple places for arcades, and then you could go in there and you could know, order your pizzas, and it's set up for know, the long tables and all right, now, down the street, when I say turf wars, we had a showbiz that turned into a cheese. Yeah. That was also in Southgate. 1s And still there too. Are you serious? Oh, good for that. Yes. Okay. And so for just history, you might not know this, but Chuck E. Cheese do you know who the founder of Chuck E. Cheese is? It was showbiz, wasn't? Oh, okay. So they tie together. I can tell you why. So the guy who created Atari created chuck e. Cheese in 1977. And that's because that's how old we are. So that's how I remember that. So in the early 80s when they went public, one of their competitors was Showbiz. Showbiz Pizza. But they went bankrupt. And not Atari, but Chuck E. Cheese bought them. So for a big portion of the 80s, chuck E. Cheese and Showbiz were all owned by the same company. They just had different names until eventually they got into the 90s. They're like, no, we're all going to brand it now. Chuck E. Cheese went famous because now they could do all these birthdays. They had pizza, but it was their animatronics. 1s And they had like this weird backstory. I always love the backstories in the I guess we call the mascots. And they're like, our mascot is going to be a mouse or a rat, and he's going to be orphaned. I don't know why they came up that. Not only is he going to be orphaned, he doesn't know his birthday. So every day is his birthday. And this is what they were selling in the started California, and now they're all nationwide. Now little Caesars, which started in Michigan. We're going to try to compete with this. And I love that place. But they didn't have animatronics the singing. They had the Elvis lion. Yes, they had a lion that was dressed up like Elvis. And you would hit the button and he would do some hunk. A hunka burning pizza or something like that. Or the weird Crazy Bread that would talk to you and wiggle. Anyways. Yes, I forgot about that. Yeah, I forgot. I forgot about the crazy bread. Yeah. But then you would go playing this cheesecape dude, it was three stories high, and it was just cheese with holes in it. But dude, the greatest game of hidden goat seek in the world. 2s Oh, my gosh. I just Googled McDonald's sells birthday cakes, and only nine for only $9, so I guess not. $25? That's what, the first Google thing? Oh, the article is a couple years old. It goes no one knows about it, 1s so I'm not lying. Google approved on the birthday at McDonald's. Well, shit, with with it being $9, dude, I'm about to go right now. That's that's cheaper than a fucking value you meal. I have to go to my friend's pool party. Who. He's turning 40. And I got him some bourbon. I'm thinking I might want to go to McDonald's to see if they got a birthday cake so I can bring that. 1s Dude. But the problem is I just drank, like, a fifth of tequila. I can't drive anywhere. 1s You drank a whole fifth of tequila? No, I drank a lot of tequila. You drank a glass. You made yourself one fucking drink. Well, my history of I hope you don't stub a toe walking to your friend's party. If I can make it, I'm going to start giving them all the history about Chuck E. Cheese, and they're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Salmon, right? 2s What the fuck is 3s dude, my son just scared the crap out of me. He heard Chuck E. Cheese and he ran in the room, basically. Anyways, I'm going to show up to this pool party already. Rick Warren ready to talk about orphaned mice. Here's the problem with Caesars. How do you know he was an orphan mouse? 2s I don't want to tell you why I know so much about Chuck E. Cheese. I just like Chuck E. Cheese. And he call it like, oh, it's a greasy pizza. Kids casino. I'm like, 1s you want to know how I remember the difference between Chuck E. Cheese and Showbiz Showbiz? They had that dark ape playing. Tell me. No. I'm going for the video games. Like, you had to walk in this. It was kind of like a dark room with a ramp. And they had that dragon layers game. Dude, I loved it, but I could never get past the first fucking scene. 2s You want to hear something funny? I have that video game in my basement arcade unit. Yeah. 1s Back in the day, they used to be fifty cents. It was like crazy. I had a neighbor just went, moved to Florida. He'd come over every time I'd have a party, and he'd beat it. And he's from Southern Illinois. Man Like Farmtown. He would spend just every waking moment as a youth playing that game, and he had everything memorized. He'd come over and beat it in one run. He played in ten years. He'd beat it. Yeah, that game was amazing. Space age dragon layer. Loved him. That on me. I'm going to take a look and maybe getting back into that game. Oh my gosh. How's that Diablo going? 1s I haven't played that since 1s 4 July. 2s My ADHD won't let me finish that game. It's just the same shit recycled over and over. For those who don't know, I haven't played video games in three months. I got back into it over the 4 July holiday. I played Diablo Four. Put a good amount of hours into it, and I'm like, I'm just hitting the damn buttons. And you go, It's a dungeon crawler. So you go to different oh, now I'm in the sewers. Now I'm in the cave here's. The same enemies, but they're like different colors. You're like, this is the same stuff over and over again. I don't want to play this storyline's. Great graphics, great. Love it. I just ain't got the time for it, man. It's not holding my well, I thought with your wife being out of town, I thought you would have been all over it. Well, my wife is on a visiting her besties in San Antonio. That was a dilemma. She missed her flight Thursday. That was my fault, because I booked her flight super early. And she goes, what time should I leave the house? And I'm like, 350 in the morning. Now, when I go to airports all the time, I've got a system. I know where I'm go parking. I know the shuttles. I know how to check in. I'm TSA pre approved. I'm through that. My wife doesn't know any of that. She tried to go to short term parking and spent 20 minutes going through parking lots to find a spot. Then she checked in and then had to go through regular security. So she's in the security line, and they're calling her name. Plane's taken off in 20 minutes, and they're calling her name final boarding. She runs to the front of the security. They're like, they're calling my name. I need to go. And she's going to Texas. So, of course, she's dressed in, like, cowboy boots and her shorts. Got to travel all decked out and pretty cowboy. I got to show my Texas support. 2s I got this picture in my head. I'm like, oh, please tell me you're wearing a cowboy head. How do you know someone's going somewhere without them telling you? 2s So she gets out. The security guys like, well, normally, if I had a supervisor here, we just escort you to the gate. But he goes, you already broke through security in the front. He goes, all right, let's go through security. And she's got to take all these boots off and all her decorations and probably wearing a Texas belt buckle. Who knows? So she runs up 1s to the gate, and the plane took off five minutes early. So they put on her her flight. Instead of going to Dallas, she went to Houston and know San Antonio, and she showed know, 2 hours or an hour and a half later than she would have. 2s I feel bad. I feel responsible because I'm a travel agent. She we go to airport. She just follows me and does whatever I say. I'm not there to tell her all the tips and tricks and what to wear. 1s Yep, that was my fault. I got yelled at for that. I think at this age, it's time to cut the leash. You should be able to do it alone. Hmm. She did send me a reminder. She'd come know, and she goes, I need you to send me my boarding pass and tell me all that stuff. I'm like, you know, you can print those out when you get there, but I'll take care of her. I'll get her all checked in, and hopefully it works out good. 1s And then when she comes 3s her I'll have her come up to Chicago, meet me up there, and then we can start working on my new residence. I got a place, and then I'll have her just paint it all up, clean it up. I could work on my podcast studio up there. I can't wait. 1s That'll be fun. Now that we talk about restaurants, you know where I want to take her as soon as she gets back? Red Lobster 2s for the senior discount. I'm not old enough yet. 2s You answer that way too quick. What's the perfect place for a first day? And you're like Red Lobster? I'm like, yeah, it's pretty safe. Can't go wrong. 1s I want to go Dave and Busters. You got any of those around you? Have you heard of it? Yeah, there's one. Okay. Because they're not everywhere, and some people haven't heard of them. But I want to say this is like the good transition from you take your kids to Chuck E. Cheese showbiz. Whatever. 2s Laser tag. Whatever they got nowadays, right? Jump zones. I don't know. Trampoline, parks. David Busters kids have it made for birthdays now. Yeah, no kidding. Because David Buster's more adult themed, but it's got those same elements. But you don't put a quarter in a damn video game. No, we're going to teach you about credit cards. You load up funds 2s and package deals like they're selling you Timeshare. Hey, for this meal, you can get this many credits for the giant Pac Man. You're like, Ugh, I don't know. 1s I don't know. My kids at the age where you'd be happy with McDonald's DQ. Now, I won't say Red Lobster, but you remind me Red Robin. I didn't have that growing up. I didn't see that until I got to Arizona. Now, I love Red Robin. Quick easy burgers. I love it. I haven't had Red Robin in a long time, actually. That's where we used to hang out when we were, like, 19 and 20. Robin is yeah. God, I didn't even know that was even downriver, man. Wow. Yeah, there's one. It's across the street from Mexican Gardens. 2s In Southgate. Oh, yep. Yeah, I that's the only I've okay, so I went to that one when I went back to Detroit for a funeral. That was 2010. I didn't know it was back. It was it was existed even before that. Yeah, that's where that would be our like because they always had hot waitresses there, so we that's where we would hang out. Oh, no shit. Did I ever tell you where I lived for southgate. Do you know what city I grew up in? No. Melvindale. You didn't know that? I moved to Southgate when I was ten years old, so Melvindale, you had this place okay, so I just found this out recently, too. The church I grew up going. Well, you didn't go to public schools in Melvindale. No, I went to you know what's you know what's funny is if you would have, 1s you would have known my cousin Jerry because that's where he used to live. Melvindale, what year did you graduate high school? He's like one year below. He knows we have some mutual friends. I went to church with St. Conrad, so st. Conrad I went to school at St. Mary Magdalene, but I went to church at St. Conrad. And can you imagine a city that small that has two Catholic churches? It's shut down. Obviously. They can't coexist, right? This isn't the 60s, where you could have five Catholic churches in one town that just doesn't exist anymore. So this church, St. Conrad, I didn't realize this until like a month ago. It shut down like 15 years ago. I had no idea. Yeah. So your cousin Jerry went to he's got friends for sure. 2s Well, I don't know if he still communicates with any of them, because when he was nine or ten, too, he moved to Taylor. 1s Oh, that's a good point. Because at that age, you're like, I can't tell you, 2s I can guarantee you, I do not talk to anybody that I knew when I was nine, eight or nine years old. Yeah. So I get it. So we had this restaurant right by that church, St. Conrad's, and right now 1s it's called Oakwood Coney and Grill. But it used to be called, like, something different in the 80s, or I Was Grilled. It was like the village place. And they used to think they're like, they sold Hawaiian burgers. And my dad's like, I've never heard what the hell is this? In the he put a pineapple piece of pineapple on a hamburger. It was the greatest thing ever in the 80s. It was like, cherry Coke was just invented. So I was like, I want cherry Coke and Hawaiian burger. It was like my go to meal. That's what I grill to this day on my grill. That's what eat. I love it, man. Pineapple and hamburger. Yeah, man. And they had a Gallagher machine, too. That's why I have Gallagher. It's weird the things you do as a kid that you're still going to do as adult. So my kid right now, he's going to grow up. I'm like, what restaurants is he going to like? It's going to be like, Dairy Queen, McDonald's, you know? 2s Whatever. Red Robin. He's going to build a basement to mimic a Red Robin. 1s We don't need that Red Robin a lot. We'll do some buffalo wild wings. You guys have buffalo? Wild wings. Yeah. First one I hit up was the first one I saw and ended up using hitting up. It was 2005, San Antonio, Texas. And that was a great place for that was one of the few restaurants I didn't mind my kids making messes. I'm telling you, man, kids are crazy. It's hard to take them to restaurants and expect them to behave. For sure. 1s Well, their food has really gone downhill, too. Oh, really? Yeah. Their food was not as good anymore. They used to tell me, they're like, we'll give you a ten piece. We'll give you a 15 piece, or maybe a six piece, twelve piece. Now it's like large, medium, whatever. And I'm like, so how many are in it? And they can't tell you. So weird. Right? But here's the thing. Lifecycle of all restaurants. We're talking? Know, the little Caesars, chuck E. Cheese. Whatever. At some point, I feel like all these have gone bankrupt at some point in their history 1s know, redone things. And I'm like, Buffalo Wild Wings seems like one that's absolutely going to go bankrupt and then have to figure shit it out. Yeah, it's not as crowded. Like I said, their food really went downhill. 2s To tell you the truth. I mean, what's your go to? I really don't know. The go to wings you love. You mean the wing or the flavor? Flavor, yeah, flavor. Flavor. See, I have three that I always go. I don't have a favorite favorite, but I like the Asian zing, the Caribbean Jerk, and then the spicy garlic. Yeah. So, man, we're there. So I used to get nothing but the Caribbean jerk. But the problem is, when I started going state to state different, trying restaurant to different restaurant, well, Caribbean Jerk flavors tasted different at different places. It was never the same or uniform, so I never knew. So I switched to spicy garlic, and that was always the same. 3s And that was the one place where I could get the kids to eat their food. Because again 2s but they want boneless wings, so essentially they want flavored chicken. But they used to have that tablet there, too. They took that away. Really? After COVID? Yeah, I think it was after COVID. Maybe touched, but yeah, no, they used to have those tablets that the kids could play. You'd sit there, watch football, have a couple of beers, eat, and the kid would be playing this tablet. Yeah, perfect. That's what Red Robin worked out, too. And we used to send the kids to go play video games, and you have a couple of arcade units. They got rid of those. Now they got the tablets added to your bill and you're like, oh, shit, there's $8 in games. 1s Oh, really? Bait and buffalo wild. It was free. Oh, hell yeah. Theirs was free. So fuck did I wouldn't know. That's one way to keep the kids busy, right? Well, it's good for the workers. You got to worry about some kid running up and down. Sure, it helps them out. 1s Most embarrassing story with my kids at a restaurant. 1s Wasn't so much a behavior. It's what they say to the waiters, right? So I had gone up to Fayetteville, Arkansas. This is when I was graduating from University of Arkansas. Night before, or maybe it was the day I graduated. And we're celebrating, right? 4s Because I did most of that degree online. So I didn't live there. So we had a hotel, Embassy Sweets, man. Right across the street is Bonefish Grill. So with a hotel right across the street, my wife and 1s on I'm just loading up on Guinnesses. That was my Guinness face. I was drinking up my Guinnesses. She's doing white wine, still does white wine. And we're drinking a ton. But we know our two older boys with us. We got to leave our baby. Brody was a baby. We got to leave him back home from the babysitter. Waiter comes up, he goes, hey, man, can I get you another drink? And my son Troy, who is probably 2s nine years old at the time. 2s Dead straight kill face. Looks at this waiter. He goes, Bro, don't give my dad another beer. He has to drive us home. And he said it loud enough to where other tables heard it. And my wife horrified's. Like, we're staying at the hotel across street. We're walking home. You get us another drink. 2s And this waiter, he didn't know to laugh, to be horrified. Mind, you could see, like, 18 emotions going through his face. Like, is this going to affect my tip? Right? 1s How does this work? Shithead, yeah. Actually, I was on Instagram, and I saw the bar my kid works at. They're showing him making some crazy cocktails and putting it up on social media. I was like, oh, shit, man. Of course. Like I respond like smart ass. I'm like, oh, man, that kid I recognize. I got to make him watch Cocktails. And there's nothing my kids hate worse is when I put on the 80s movies and I make them watch it. He's like, 1s That'll clear a room fast, man. And I don't know, whoever their social media account manager is was like, thumbs up funny. Anyways. 1s Hello? Good. Well, you know, I was out of Internet last weekend, which is another reason why we haven't recorded in like a month. I bust out, I have a box of DVDs and Blu rays in my garage. Some neighbor just gave them away, right? And sitting on his porch, I put them in. I was making the basically my kid didn't know what to do. I had no idea how much of my house runs on Internet security cameras and Google Assistant, right? 1s Everything's like, timed. I'm like, oh, wow, light switches. I was like, wow. Okay, so hook up, of course, the TVs all smart, TV streaming. Hook up the PlayStation. I put in interview with a vampire and it's a DVD format. I was like, oh, crap. I had to flip it over and do Blu ray format. And I didn't realize how much we are spoiled with the Internet and 4K like vision. Oh my gosh. But that being said, watching an old VCR or 720 like a DVD, after ten minutes, you're like you get so used to it. You're like, oh, yeah. That's how it always is. So let me ask you this. Yeah, what's up? Why didn't you use. 2s Your mobile hotspot when you had no Internet. So apparently 1s I reached this crazy threshold of 30GB because I was using it up in Chicago, because 1s I use it for a hotspot for work sometimes, and I didn't realize the entire month, like, driving for it. Yeah, it was so crazy. 1s I'm having a very hard time connecting to hotel internet right now. Every time I go up there, which is why I haven't done a recording from a hotel, I feel like, oh, gosh, Sunday night, I get the hotel. We need to do what tomorrow? Wait, what's tomorrow? Yeah, tomorrow I'm going to get to hotel. I just want to try it once because I keep bringing all these microphones and computer, and I haven't done and I haven't even used it. I'm like, what the hell? 2s It's horrible. Well, let's roll with it. We'll give it a shot. Yeah, we could talk. I don't know. 1s Weird shit I see in a hotel on a road, man, I'm telling you, there's nothing, like, more exhausting after a hard day of work. And then you roll into, like, an NBC suites, and there's, like, 40 strangers, and they're at the bar waiting for the free drinks, and they're like, I don't have the energy to meet new people. Hey, what do you do? You work? Are you traveling? You're like, I'm tired of saying this shit. And one time, some softball moms cornered me, and they're like, hey, what's going on? What are you doing? And I had to hear their bull crap. Oh, my gosh. 2s I can tell you hit the mute button. You doing all right. No, I didn't. Oh, man. No, I didn't hit it. I'm listening to your stories. Yeah. So these softball moms, and it turns out they're from Michigan and they're talking about their summer vacations. They're all traveling the nation for their watch their kids play softball. And I was you know and they're like, do you like know? I was like, I probably look like a bag of mess. I was like, I lived in like, I lived in fucking Japan. Hell, yeah. Like sushi. And they're like, telling me in Chicago, like, this place is great, but it's very pricey. I was like, well, that's why I don't go eat sushi in Chicago, man. It's like, get a break. Anyways, I had to hear all that story, and 2s they're like, what do you do? And I'm just like, I'm retired military. I don't want to get into it. Well, where do you live? I'm like, I'm just on the road. I live by St. Louis. But hey, man, I used to live in Michigan. Cool. Anyways, and then you come up with a cool story, though, when people actually 2s traveling. Dildo salesman. 3s I was like, how's your oh, no, man, because I don't want these people thinking like I'm trying to 1s yeah, but 1s either at that point, they're either going to love you or hate you more than likely hate you. And they'll probably just walk away and you have to deal with them. Hey, try this. And that be like, can I interest you in a dildo? 2s It. 1s Here's the thing. I'm like, I gotta that's a great point. I gotta come up with some backstory. That's weird shit. I almost want to say I'm a YouTuber and I'm a YouTuber, you know? No, then you'll never you will never leave if you say that. Because you'll be like, oh, what's your name? What do you do? Let's try pulling you up on your phone right now. Okay, I'll do this. So I think you should stick with traveling dildo salesman. I want to say I'm a timeshare salesman and 1s tell me people won't leave me alone. Then, yeah, there you go. 1s I work for the hotel. We're in the process of expanding to timeshares, just not hotels. We're moving up to timeshares. I have a slot open tomorrow at noon. You in? 5s I feel like that'll clear a room, man. People will avoid me. Ah. Hey, I did I did get a business card, you know, a new business card. And on it, my my job title says missionarchitect slash, you know, dash engineer. And let me tell you, man, anybody who's a real engineer, they get pissed when they see that shit. Apparently, the word engineer is way overused. I had no say in my job title. Like, I made this up. Like, I'm like, we are right now dildo salesman. 2s I don't know what to tell you, man. I'm like, I engineer a good time. 2s There you go. 5s I tell you what. What are we at right now, time wise? Yeah, hour and five. I'm probably going to cut it down because I'm watching everybody roll this dude's house. I got to get over 1s do before I let you go. 2s I did hear something funny online. Dude named Chris Porter. Probably a comedian because the guy's hilarious. There's no way he's like a normal dude like us. 1s He was talking about being single and being old as hell, you know? And he and they're like, well, what's the issue? And he goes there's and he basically breaks it down. I'm still single because of the girls are broken into three different classes here. He goes, the first one, they're super successful, and they're probably looking for a dude that owns a suit, at least has slacks, you know? And this guy's like, I don't know where my slacks are. And I meant to ask you. I wrote this down. I was like, do you have a suit, Jimmy? I need to know this. I used to I probably don't fit into it anymore. Okay, so we'll say no. You have slacks, though, for sure. Yeah. Okay. But they're looking for some dude. He'll wear a suit, you're like? And he's like, no, off my list, man. I'm like, cool. His second one, he goes, they're divorced and they're beautiful, but the problem is they're like Chernobyl. Like, something bad happened to them. We have to wait a few years. A few years to wait and kind of see where they're at. I was like, sure. Noble. Okay, that's too. All right. The third class, he goes, now, these ones are just kind of they've waited their whole lives, and they've been single, like, their whole lives. They're in their forty s and their therapist hasn't figured out the right kind of pill combo because they had these crazy episodes, right, where they'll break into your house and burn your kittens. And even if you didn't have kittens, they would bring the kittens, right? So I feel like. 1s I didn't even get a chance to talk about, like, the kind of, you know, which of those three are you willing to dip your toes into? Figure out that'll give me give me something. It'll give me something to think about tomorrow. For tomorrow. Okay. You're like, what kind of domain am I working with here? Or will am I willing to engage? Oh, that's good. Okay, so this one was just kind of hiatus, recap with some restaurant theme talk, but we didn't really give much parenting advice. No, we just bullshitted, really. Mostly because there's a couple of guys shout out to my boy Mike Ryan in Phoenix. We got to talk about the heat in Phoenix right now, man. We'll save that one for tomorrow. Like, he chose to live there. And me going up to Chicago where it's low 80s every week, I love it. And I come down to St. Louis, and I'm dealing with 95 in humidity. I don't like that. It could be worse. Back when I used to live in Surprise, Arizona, mike Ryan's out there, and he's a ginger man. You know he ain't doing well. What kind of ginger? Seriously? Ginger. What kind of ginger moves out to Arizona on purpose? Crazy ass one. He's in love. That's what that is. I can't hate on him. I'll do whatever my wife says, too. 2s Oh, gosh. We should do some other shout outs to some other folks, too. I'm going to make that a regular thing. This one's dedicated to Mike Ryan out there. If you see him out in Arizona, make sure his air conditioning is working. 2s Shit. Or send him money to help pay that bill. 120 degrees for a month straight. No, man, ain't happening, yo. All right, man, I'm out. All right, we'll have fun. Don't stub a toe.