In this Halloween themed episode, Jimmy explains why it
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is classy to bring a cooler of Miller Lite to a trunk and treat. Jesse is concerned about his adult children dating older women, and why adults will not like the new movie Five Nights at Freddy. It would have been better with Nick cage. All tricks and no treats.
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Send it boys.
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Hey, welcome to The Dads, our podcast where a single dad can talk to a married dad and we could both complain about life. We're here to give horrible parenting advice. I'm your co-host, Beef Wellington, also known as Jesse. I'm here with my good friend Jimmy. We're going to bring it back. Start. Sparkle. Stash. Sparkle
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stash aka Jim Cage. Nick.
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Haha, yeah. So because the last episode, my friend, I'm being bombarded with all sorts of Nick cage ads. Love
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it. You know what? What? We keep up with the Nick cage love dude. We might have him on as a
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guest. 1s How would you think that would be amazing. I will start small with a guest. We haven't done it or guest yet.
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Yeah we did. We had your son. Oh,
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that's right, you know, that's to this moment, probably one of the highest rated downloaded shows we've done. 1s Really? Yeah.
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How's the weather? They're not shy now.
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Well, it's funny you should say that I have this. Trusty little app. I don't know if you've ever heard of this, but it's basically WTF. Forecast like forecast? Nope. You've never. Oh, it's a great, great app. So I said, hey what's our temperature up here in Chicago? And it says it's cold, but it could be worse, right? You could also be insufferable insufferable butthole. It's 37 degrees. Oh,
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wow. I think I have heard of that before. Um, maybe that can be our first
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sponsor. All right,
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reach out to him, Jesse, reach out to him. Reach out and touch
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someone. Because
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that puckering butthole,
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that insufferable, insufferable butthole. And I'll tell you what. People tune in to hear us talk about the weather. I tell you every time. 3s Ambient snow tomorrow. So tomorrow is Halloween,
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so we're supposed to get snow too? It's crazy because Friday and Saturday was sunny and like 80 degrees here. It was beautiful. 1s Then Sunday was a little, you know, but today, the low. Oh, shit. I got to turn my water off for
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night. Yeah, man. Freeze! Warning. So I sent that text, that message to my wife back in southern Illinois. I said, hey, can you do me a favor? Disconnect all your hoses. Got a freeze coming on. She goes, no problem. I'm on it. And then I checked my door security cameras because it's, you know, in the high 30s. 40s? It's cold there. There goes my kid off to the school bus. Guess what he's wearing shorts. 3s Can't teach him.
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Well, you know, it is what it is, man. He wants to wear shorts.
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Well, he's had. He's having himself a good two week run. Right now. He's got himself a girlfriend. Um, he went to a Halloween school dance Friday. Turns out, did his first kiss ever. He's 13.
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The Brazilian say the Brewster, huh?
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And my friends that were there chaperoning who may or may not. They did a horrible job because they didn't catch him.
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Well, whatever. That's better than, uh. Let's see. Friday had. Well, we'll back it up a little bit. I had some, uh, teacher student conferences on Thursday. Let's just say my son was grounded off electronics until next, uh, report card.
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Uh, but other than that,
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he's a pleasure to have in class. He
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says, do you do you hate when they say that? Hey, as a character, as a person, I love them. Uh, but there's a reason you grounded him. Well, he got an F in math, so that doesn't fly. But let me ask you this. How does one
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how does one get an A in English but a C in reading? I don't get
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it. Are they two separate classes?
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Yeah. Yes. But
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mean. Wait. So say it again a in English. Singlish C reading. Is it book reports you can master. You can master the English language and the grammar. But sometimes when you have to read a book and then recite what you took out of that content, sometimes it just doesn't hit with kid man.
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Yeah it's true. The funniest actually part of the teacher conference was my ex-wife's husband taking off of a day off of work for a ten minute conference because he doesn't trust us to alone. Hey, what? Yeah. This
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guy. This guy is such a
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clown. He's a clown. I hope one day you hear this. You are a clown, dude. How does this happen
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like this? I can't leave my wife alone at this. Pair teacher conferences because it might rekindle some some romance.
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He might get a the teacher's desk.
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Oh my gosh. What? What? You're like, hey, what's this guy doing here? Oh. I'm on. I'm under constant supervision.
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Well, well, well, the thing is, dude, is he sits here and he acts like he's so concerned and, you know, about about Connor's education and this and
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that, and, well, he's more worried about it. His wife's side piece. 2s Yeah, but check, check this out. Right. So but just to show you how much he, you know, is worried about Connor when he's with me, he makes her block me so I cannot contact her. I'm like, what if there's an emergency? Yeah. You care about this? Hey, you can get the fuck. 1s All right, that's enough. Enough of real estate in my head with that. That's done. That's all. So. But. So then Friday we had trunk or treat, I think I was. Oh, Cabrini.
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Huh? Yeah. Think I was the only parent that showed up with a cooler. What? Full of beer
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syrup? Kids, take it a swig. No wonder no one of the year. Yeah, your ex-wife's husband doesn't trust you. And then the ladies.
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Yeah. And then Saturday.
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What? You put what you put in the cooler?
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Just Miller light. You just. And some red solo
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cups, keeping it classy. So, I mean, Jimmy, we don't drink and drive in the state of Michigan. Do you have Connor drive you home? He said
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I was driving.
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Oh, yeah. What's his name? You got to know this piece. Yeah. This reminds me of the time where my kid, 1s you know, we get. You get my oldest one, they get the the license, and you're like, all right, man, you can't drive with any of your friends. It's just you alone in the car. Because unfortunately, we had a, you know, horrible tragedy in, you know, back in southern Illinois, some high schoolers driving around 530 an afternoon ran into a tree. There's some fatalities, and it's hitting the town pretty hard and was like, yeah, I would never let my kids drive around 16 or 17 years old with other kids. Just too much distraction. But the moment I got, you know, a little too many at the officer's club and needed them to come pick me up there, my Uber. Oh, man. We just we just won't tell them about the time we were, what, 17, 18 and Allen Park just
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graduated and got pulled over by by the
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police. Forgot about that.
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With a car full of kids and you whip out your ID and they see it was military. They're like, all right, boys, just be safe. That's too much.
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You want a car? I forgot about that.
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Yeah, it was in the car. I ran a red
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light by, like, three seconds because we didn't have Google Maps, and I was trying to catch up with a friends. And so I take off my hat and I'm like, be, you know, be be respectful. He comes up, he sees my military ID was 18 and he was like, all right, you just ran that live by a lot like you drinking beer. Like, no, we were. Anyways, he lets us go at the warning was like, dope man Allen Park, police man Johnny Popo. You for real? 1s Oh, forgot about that one. Anyways. And
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then Saturday was his last Halloween dance. And you can't really call it a dance because all I do is run around. But that was it. That was my
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weekend. The dances. I got to go back. There's a couple things. You brought up parent teacher conferences in the dances. Number one. Haven't gone to my kid's parent teacher conferences in forever because think they're a waste of time. A lot of times they're like, don't, there's no issues. Don't come in like, okay, but this year my oldest son is dating one of my 13 year old teachers. And you know, it's crazy. Yeah, for a ho. I'm all for it. 1s I prove. Um,
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how young is this teacher?
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She's young enough. She's older than him.
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I'll tell you what. What? Watch out. Watch out for this teacher. She's the one dude that's given him. And you're going to find her in the papers.
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No, we can't do that. Because I just found out they secretly listen to this podcast. Look at it.
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I'm not
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bad. Out. No, man, could you imagine, like teaching immature 13 year olds all day, dealing with their bull crap and their their lingo like bro. So mid and you're like, you know what? Want to date a 24 year old because he's mature. 2s Well well well let's take it back a minute here dude. Like
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have you ever noticed though that. The female teachers that are caught with like are always hot. And they're like banging their students that are, you know, 14, 15, 16 years old and they're like, well, 526. They're pretty damn cute. I'm like, hello?
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Come on, sparkle Dash. Yeah. And then you can't you can't land anything. Hey,
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fly.
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Calm down, Nick cage, because let me tell you, the ugly teachers, there's no boy turning them in. They don't want anybody to know. Right? You
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know how they find out through the dads? Because the dads go through their phone and his dad's like, what
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that looks like. Yeah,
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you're. That looks like a grown up boob, son.
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That I'm banging my teacher. 2s You think
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that kid gets a high five one because he's banging an older chick? And two now just made his family rich because they're suing the district.
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But who knows what goes on in your head there, Nic Cage? You know, it's crazy. What? You know what we're doing, though? Every every podcast. From now on, we're making a shout out to Nic Cage until he reaches out to us. Nic cage dads
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are us. We're looking for you. We watched your movie. You weren't the greatest, dad. Prove us wrong. Look us up.
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Can see it. Now you're like, I'm posting
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all this on on every social media platform, TikTok, everything. We're going hunting for Nic Cage.
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I would ask him what's like, hey, what if you had a an adult adult son dating an older woman? Like what? Like, what's weird is how much of a age difference is. Is it like a gap before it gets too weird? What do you say? Think years? Ten, ten years? Okay. Okay. Because I know you dated data like ten years younger. So of course you're going to say that now, when I dated my wife, she was two and a half years younger. Me and everybody thought I was, like, some sort of criminal. Look at us now, man. Yeah, man. We've been together over 20, almost 26 years. It's not weird anymore, right? No. I mean, don't you think that was weird back then? I mean, guess the only way it would be weird is maybe if
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she was, like, 15 and you were 17. 18. Maybe that would be weird. But
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she was 17. I was 19 when I met her, so. Yeah. That's cool. Well, good. I want you to stop touching that microphone right now.
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It's not the mic I'm touching. That's another boomstick. Yeah. No. Now imagine I had a 24 year old daughter. 1s As he was dating a male teacher. How much is the gap acceptable in age then? Ten years.
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Okay. 1s Sounds good. Sounds good. So anyways, I really, I really liked I really like Jody's friends. I like these teachers. I think they're cool as hell. And you didn't say
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it was a friend. You said it was a teacher. So it's a teacher and a friend.
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Oh, yeah. Man, my wife's friends, they're great people, you know, she's a substitute teacher, so she knows lots of teachers.
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So is. Are we talking 20 year difference?
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No. Okay. There was a there was a time where my son dated maybe once or went out on a date with a lady. That was. We talked about this, right? Yeah. She was almost the
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same age I do. Got a question about you. I do got a question for you, though, when we do get to your Halloween
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party. Yeah, you missed a good one, man. We threw a rager. Was last, uh, 1s like, two weekends ago. Now. Guess
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you go home this weekend at all.
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Now I'm tired of driving and honestly, I just didn't want to help clean up. Reach
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out. So you reach out to me on Sunday when you've been home all weekend.
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Yeah. Because Saturday.
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Wow was. Anyway, you heard my you. I'm on. I'm only Josh and you.
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Yeah. This this is my weekend to decorate the condo and put up curtains and had to fix electrical work. You know, it was a good weekend to do it. So that's what I did, man. All right, well,
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let's just take a left turn here to the Halloween party.
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Yeah, let's go back to it. Gosh,
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who was that? Who was that girl dressed up like Freddy Krueger? Holy Krueger. I would like to have her claws down my back. And don't tell me that your son's
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the teacher. No. So, man, we're getting right into this drama, all right? It so that that girl is a coworker with my son. And she came. You know how girls do the the the the costumes, the sexy version of everything. And didn't know you could do a sexy version of Freddy Krueger. But she pulled it off and wow, everyone's asking my son, like, are you sure you're just coworkers and friends? And they hang out all the time they get in this massive fight. Freddy Krueger rolls in on my my son, who's Jason Bateman from American Psycho, and she and he's drunk and she rolls up on him and she's like, as soon as she gets behind him, he's like, yeah, man, she's so annoying. She's so, you know, because think he had tried to to reach out and date her. And she's like, no, you're my co-worker. No, we're just we're just friends.
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We just touch
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someone. Yeah, they get a big fight. And guess what? Uh, Miss Teacher steps right in and says, well, that means you're available now. She dated my son. Sometimes things just happen,
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man. Just like that, huh?
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He's got game. I guess he can pull. He can pull some girls. I don't
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know. Yeah. Well, you know, we used to be
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that good. Weird, weird thing to brag about. Anyways, so she stormed off and then at night. Well, my other son was trying to console her. That was hilarious. The
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13 year old.
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The 22 year old. Oh,
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damn. Was like man incarnate. Wasting no time. No wonder why he got that first kiss.
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And the 13 year old. He's got himself a girlfriend and he he is kissed her. So he's in love. Don't know. Don't know what kids that age think. What's cool
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with Freddy, Freddy Krueger or Miss Krueger? If you're listening
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and
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you want to run those claws down my back, just let me know. I'll go to sleep. And dreaming you every night.
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I'll tell you what that was, even though that was a basic costume. Now, our theme this year was The Asylum.
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Right. I'd seen your costume. Joker looked pretty good. Looked pretty good? Yeah.
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You know, I put it together. So from the other pictures, I really didn't get the guy. Think the 13 year old's costume. It looks like he was wrapped up in chains,
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ready to film an eight millimeter film.
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Yeah, pretty much the the. My other son was a priest, so we look like family crazies. Maybe next year we'll do something altogether themed. I'll see families do that. That'd be cool. Maybe. Maybe not. 1s Well, I'll say this. All the costumes. Oh, there's some good ones. And then you could tell that everybody, the ones that came in last minute just putting stuff together. And then my favorite was we had three ladies wear the same thing. They bought off an Amazon or something. They're bloody nurses. They're like really all three of you? The winner, the most creative dressed up is a giant syringe. And he was giving out shots through his syringe because he had another apparatus. Anyone who comes with that many props usually going to win
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was the syringe by his dingdong.
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Nah. Okay. Now he had his lady friend with him as well, so he wasn't. He wasn't gonna do that. Now, when he first started coming to these Halloween parties a couple of years ago, he's freshly divorced and he was, you know, he was single. And I've remembered to this day he goes, Jessie, I did not know adults were allowed to have this much fun. I've never partied as an adult. And I'm like, this guy just missed out on life being married. 2s So now, you know, he's got himself another girlfriend and he's having fun again. And he was, you know, hanging out shots.
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Now he gave her a shot later.
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The best the best couple was have you seen the movie shining. Oh yeah. And there's two little girls that are twins. Yeah. This, this lady had talked her husband in to wearing a dress and he was way too muscular for it. But guess for the effort. He's really doing a lot for the trans movement. So they they won the best couple, the most creative. We have a couple that's won three out of the last four years. They showed up with a an award board with pictures of all the previous years they've won. And this year, you know, they said and we're again, they put this together five minutes before the thing. It was hilarious. So they got most creative. I had one guy grab a of info.
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Well hold on, how was that? And like how was that insane?
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It wasn't on theme. There's there was a few that were on theme that were pretty. The
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ones that are on theme should should automatically be disqualified.
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I don't want to limit anybody's game.
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No, no. See, you're lucky I wasn't there because that would have never happened.
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We had we had mad doctors, like three mad doctors, the biggest one of popular. We had a lot of silence and a lame themed oh, man two Hannibal Lecter. We had a bunch of Clarice like couples coming together. We had
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a bunch of creative people in that block.
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We had. We actually had one dressed a lady dresses Buffalo, Buffalo Bill. Yeah, a little mini dress, but dressed as a female, like we tried to do the tuck. 1s It was strange. We had a crazy pharmacist. Her husband was just a patient. He had a bear, but, you know, prosthetic. Well, that was good. Bunch of zombie nurse. You know, we also had a lot of. We had a couple Britney Spears. I thought that was odd for the 1s Salem. No,
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because people she was in an insane asylum. I think that's when she shaved her head.
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So we had we had one dressed up shave their head with a tennis racket. Apparently looking on point, we had another Britney Spears in the all the red outfit. She showed up with Justin Timberlake, who may or may not have been a police officer off duty, complete with a box cover. And his junk was like, oh, nice. Just
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the just the box, huh?
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No, he actually had he had a prosthetic in there too, that everybody kept trying to mess with. Oh,
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nice.
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Horrible horrible horrible. So we we had a Scooby Scooby Gang show up. Was like, is it themed? They're like, yeah, man, we're here to
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investigate this, you know,
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insane asylum. It's right. That's good, that's good. What?
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What if it wasn't for you? Drastically. Kids.
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Yeah. Their dog there going around ripping everyone's mask off. 3s Oh man. There he had uh, you know, had the Scarecrow had a few Batman characters. So we had the Scarecrow guy and his wife just showed up as a blonde, I don't know, blonde Barbie or something. Who knows? Are they? Oh, God. We had a Beetlejuice that looked legit and he was in character all night. Did all the dances. Sounded just like him.
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Why didn't he win?
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He was my pick, but I don't get to judge. The wife picks her favorites, which is Bo. Crap.
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Yeah. Need to have a talk with her about
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that. Another one of my.
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Honestly, you know, you know what it should be.
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What's it should be
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based on a blind ballot. Everybody at the party cast the vote.
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That's how we usually do our soup parties and our chili cook offs. We just get on our phones, go to a website and vote. So the problem with doing that is with, you know, 100 people, you know, 100 different costumes. I don't want to set that all up like beforehand. It's just too much work. So it's like, yeah, let's just do too much work. And, you know,
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much work goes into this to be thorough with. That's what I'm saying. Another ten minutes.
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It's a lot longer. Ten minutes especially. Let's get a few drinks going. Oh, man. So then. Oh. Al Bundy and Peggy. Oh, they look great. Um, that you take
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pictures of all these? I only seen, like. Like in previous years. There were, like, tons of pictures. I don't like,
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you know, I got rid of my Facebook, so, you know. But.
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And then wife the Instagram. She did not take a lot of pictures. I got a lot of videos. And then my kids making fun of me because I do the same face. But. But I had a Joker costume. I was like messing with my mouth because this is dead in every video. So then we took his video and we made like 19 videos with different music and filters making fun of him. That's that's my group family chat, family text. You know, that's how we do it. Nice.
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Oh, we had a we had a lot of priests, nuns, the scary nuns. We had a few of those. Don't know. It worked. Uh, Chuck, we had Chucky and his bride. They look great. No exorcism. 2s No. Guess some of the priests. Nah, they're too much makeup. That's. My son was a priest. Maybe that was a close thing, but no exorcist as far as the girls go. No, we had we had a dude that got, like, just tinfoil and made a hat and showed up in a t shirt. 1s It's like, because. Did it, Jesse? $5 or less? I'm like, hey, man, well done. So. And then since we had a catered he's funny too because he only eats meat. Like literally that's his whole diet. So what we had catered was a little pork riblets and then sliders, but they're like mini hamburgers you had to put together yourself and the bread was all stale. So he's just over there eating hamburger patties. That's like, all right, drinking nice. Oh, it's Jules from Pulp Fiction. He was hilarious. Oh, man. There's another one. Angelina Jolie was in a movie where she's crazy and, I don't know, eating a cherry. So we had this lady walking around with a cherry. Actually, her husband didn't show up, like, ask what the heck, man? He needs to. You need to start coming to these, so ring a bell. Yeah. And she kept explaining to everybody what the movie was. And that's the thing, man. If you got to keep explaining, it's not good. Yeah. You can't be that niche of a character where you have to explain to everybody what it is. Oh man. Had a bunch of people show up in straitjackets. You know, that
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was so no, no Michael Myers, no Jason Voorhees
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had two Michael Myers, and then after five,
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he was from he was from an insane
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100%. Yeah. So my neighbor showed up. He was Michael Myers, but he goes, I'm claustrophobic. And I'm. So he took off his mask and he didn't wear it the whole night. But his girlfriend, you know, she just. Like just a deranged nurse or patient. A lot of people just wear scrubs with blood all over it. And then my neighbor across the street, he was Mike Myers. He's a cop, too. And he wore his he rolls up and I'm trying to greet everybody. I looked down my street and I just see 40 people walking down the street towards my party. And I thought, man, this is like it. Remind me, kids like raiding my house for trick or treat, but these are all grown ups. So when I saw his wife, I'm like, is your husband working? Is he not coming? He was there the whole time in a mask. I didn't know because there's just so many people. So he was messing with me. And then. 2s Now, bro. Come on. I,
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I was like Joe Cheese. And it turned out. Nick. We need you, Nick.
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Uh, so then as soon as everybody showed up, we got the 360 camera set up in the back and a bunch of video. So if you really want to see everybody's costume, you go to my wife's Facebook and then you watch 36 videos. Everybody's doing the 360 camera and you see all the costumes in. Yeah. All right. After 1 or 2, you're like, we're good. Christmas
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music starts in two days. I'm good. I'm ready to get in the holiday cheer. You wanna hear something crazy? My Christmas tree is up.
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No, my Christmas lights outside are up.
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You know what, though? When? On Saturday. I was picking up my, uh, son's friend because we went and seen that new Friday five nine at Freddy's movie. Did you see it at the theater? Yeah, my kid went there, too. And guess what? I saw free streaming and can't make sense of this damn movie. All the dream sequences.
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How you can figure out what
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happens. Yeah. Rated
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a four out of ten. Apparently my my son was really excited because he saw YouTubers in it. He goes, I know that you dude, every time there's a you my dad, he's a
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YouTuber.
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So excited. Hey, this movie's garbage. But, dad.
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Well, I saw
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that guy's crappy videos
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and YouTube, son. He gave it an eight out of ten. He just said he wish it was more scarier.
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Yeah, because there's no gore. All the death scenes were off camera.
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PG 13. That's why
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it could have been PG. Sparkle stache. Yeah. Movie was not that scary. No,
U1
28:43
it wasn't at all. There was like one jump scare, but he's excited about the next one. But back to my story. It was I seen two people putting up Christmas lights because it was so
U2
28:52
nice. No kidding. Yeah. So as soon as Halloween is done Tuesday, I will get back into town next weekend and everything's put away. And guess what? Boom! Uh, Christmas lights already up. I pay someone to do it. Ain't got time for that.
U1
29:09
When do you guys put up the tree, or should we save this for another episode? You
U2
29:13
talk about right now, it's 1s Thanksgiving weekend, right after Thanksgiving, right? There's no rules.
U1
29:20
Well, last year was my my first year. I put it up like the first week in December. I usually went like December 10th, December 14th, but don't know. Last year I really got into the the Spirit of Christmas. I was like, wow, you know Christmas. Usually I hear them like, oh, shut that shit off, dude. It hits and I'm like, oh man, it's kind of different this year. So I was just in the mood. And so I'm thinking this year to go up a little bit earlier than it did last year.
U2
29:50
Yeah. That's good. I don't think I would put up much Christmas decorations here at the condo, because I'm literally probably only going to be here 3 to 4 weeks over the next three months anyways. So you could put
U1
30:02
up a mistletoe, but every time you go underneath it,
U2
30:05
you kiss yourself.
U1
30:07
Oh, he just cracked himself. Energy drink. How is this man going to go to bed tonight? He just cracked an energy drink at 6:00 at night. Let's say, God, I do,
U2
30:21
and any man and a lions are playing tonight. So your son is. He decided if he's going to go trick or treat without you or with friends?
U1
30:30
Yep. I just got the text today from my guess. They're all meeting at a certain house. I was like, you know, I'll get pizza and chips for the kids. We drop them off at around five, pick them up at 830. I said, okay, I guess, I guess that's it. I mean,
U2
30:46
sounds good. My son has been he's been doing that. He's a little older, so he's been doing it, you know, with the friends for a while now. When I was a kid, we used to just walk, wear whatever, and grab a pillowcase. You know how these kids got these fancy buckets and bags?
U1
31:01
My son, my son, he pillowcases.
U2
31:04
It still nice going old school. So in our neighborhood, a lot of the parents, we go to a community house. And all the parents just eat a bunch of chili. Dang, dude.
U1
31:17
Yeah, dude. Hit it on. I hit that on a fan. You believe that?
U2
31:22
I am looking at your head right now. And it looks like. Like Freddy Krueger. Sexy Freddy Krueger to carry your forehead like
U1
31:28
you told you. I was dreaming of her. I
U2
31:31
told you. 1s Oh, man. Ah, I tell you what, 1s I, I started watching that movie Freddy Krueger. Did you know. This is again ADHD so bad. We just go. Subject. Subject. I know that original movie. He was going to be a a child molester. And they said no, they changed it in the 80s. They're like, we're just going to make them a child murderer because they didn't want to look like they're 1s doing. Taking advantage of the current situation in California at the time, sensationalizing this. And then they redid the movie years later and they're like, now his child molester. It's okay. Now we can really make this character horrible. So can you imagine all these kids running up and down the street trick or treating just like Freddy Krueger? You're like, what are you for Halloween? Child molester.
U1
32:32
They call me Freddy. Freddy,
U2
32:35
I know, man, it's just insanity of that. So
U1
32:39
when they. When did you start watching these movies again?
U2
32:43
I just started that one for a little bit yesterday while I was working on, you know, the condo, getting the fireplace all up and ready. I need firewood, though.
U1
32:55
You know, it was crazy though, is I just had the trunk or treat. I was talking with another parent there and we were like, you know what's great? Go back in the 80s and watch a PG rated movie. Like, it should be like a PG 13. It's like, you know, let's do trivia. Let's do trivia. PG 13 trivia. What was the first movie ever rated? PG 13. They invented that rating for this movie. No. Even no. I do hate that in the remakes they edit it out like like the cops having guns. Nope. It was now Goonies. Good movie, good pull. Cloak and dagger. No, I'll give you the year. It was 1984, Fletch. It has something to do with a Chinese mythical golden child. No big trouble, little China.
U2
33:48
You can't feed them after Neverending
U1
33:50
story.
U2
33:51
Gremlins. Gremlins? Yes. That was like, how long? I still gotta keep doing this. So. Yeah. What's your what's your son going to dress up as? Costume wants him and seven other friends are known as hot dogs. 1s A pack of hot dogs. Sounds like a sausage party. 6s Hey, man. So it reminds me of a joke. Two hot dogs are walking down the street. One looks over, says, hey, Connor, you wieners out.
U1
34:24
Speaking of child molester. 2s I'm not dressing up. My kid is a hot dog, man. I'm not. I'm not telling him to look at it. Hey, who's wieners out?
U2
34:36
Yeah, it's such a great, great, easy wiener joke. Um,
U1
34:40
you know, I had a good joke,
U2
34:42
and I day, I
U1
34:43
just don't. I just don't remember them. As a call. Jesse would love that.
U2
34:48
Do you remember it? Was it about cows? Have a lot of cow jokes or Halloween jokes? Too much fun. Too much fun. Oh. Anyways, yeah. So all the neighbor neighbors are gathering in my garage to hand out candy. We just put out one big table. Everyone eats chili. I have some wine. I'm going to skip all that. I'm going to stay up here in Chicago because work calls and I need to provide for my family in their lavish lifestyle. 2s I got to save up for the anniversary trip.
U1
35:20
Did you guys decide on what you're doing at that garage?
U2
35:24
Well, I am in no rush to paint over all the blacklight stuff. It's all cleaned up already, though. And
U1
35:33
where's the anniversary trip
U2
35:35
going to? Oregon? Astoria, Oregon. Do you know what movies were filmed
U1
35:39
there? The Oregon Trail.
U2
35:41
Now you've actually already named it in your earlier diatribe, not Fletch.
U1
35:48
Don't Look at Me Like That,
U2
35:50
which was a great movie. 1s It's got some quotes in it. I'll give you that. 1s Goonies, man. Goonies was filmed in Astoria, the down in the goon docks. Do you know what else was filmed there?
U1
36:03
Your anniversary trip is to a place with trails called Oregon.
U2
36:09
Okay, kids don't know about old school games like that,
U1
36:13
dude. They don't. And that's probably why my son got enough. Because they don't play Oregon. Oregon trail.
U2
36:20
He. He knows English. He can't read the word dysentery. 2s Ah.
U1
36:27
No, man. So why it works?
U2
36:29
Um. That's funny. I call it Oregon, too. My wife yells at me, she goes, It's Oregon, Oregon. I don't know if she picked. Yeah, she she saw the movie Goonies. She goes, that looks pretty. I want to go. I'm like, I don't know if it's a great place to go in the wintertime, but I'm all for it now. I'm glad she gets a girls trip to a nice warm.
U1
36:53
All you eat and drink.
U2
36:56
Going to resorts and beaches. I got to go climb mountains. Was
U1
37:02
probably little waiter guys playing with the little man in the boat. And you get Oregon.
U2
37:08
Yeah, man. Get hurry. God, I'm a I'm all cool with that man 25 years Versuri 1s oh I don't know it's like first week in December.
U1
37:21
Damn it's going to be cold as a pack your partners. Yeah, maybe. Hey it's just all the more reason we stay under the covers. I'm good for it. Ooh,
U2
37:31
it's sweater weather. 2s Pretty girl. But 1s trail.
U1
37:40
Yeah. Maybe you should build a happy trail.
U2
37:45
And
U1
37:45
then where will fail? 3s And that's the show, folks. Welcome. Come back soon.
U2
37:56
No. Oh, horrible. I'm pretty sure she stopped listening to these episodes once again.
U1
38:02
Everyone had. 2s Yeah. It's okay. Well,
U2
38:06
it's all right. Don't mind once Nic
U1
38:09
Cage gets on here, dude. We're going to shoot up the top ten.
U2
38:14
All right, I'm with you. So after Halloween, next time we record, I'm going to tell you all about Halloween in the snow. I'm getting ready for a big trip to Texas or see how Dallas is going to. That's going to look
U1
38:31
work related.
U2
38:33
Yeah, it's not a vacation. It's definitely work related. And then after that kind of cruise control, the Thanksgiving man just watching. You know,
U1
38:42
I'm wondering when this Thanksgiving I know last year it was early. It was like the 20th.
U2
38:48
I'm gonna go on a limb and I'm going to call it I think it's the fourth Thursday in November.
U1
38:53
Always. Huh?
U2
38:55
Okay. I feel I feel pretty confident with that. I feel
U1
38:58
good, I feel good. Maybe maybe I, you know, speaking of November, don't we change the clocks back the first week? The first Sunday in November?
U2
39:09
I don't care one of those weekends. Uh, that. But the daylight savings time seems weirdly antiquated right now. I go to work, it's dark, I come home, it's dark. And I don't know if daylight saving times is going to change any of that. I'll be driving in the dark. Who knows? The alleys
U1
39:27
have windows. Where are you? Right.
U2
39:31
Oh, wait. Work? Yeah. No, actually, no, I do not.
U1
39:35
Are you underground
U2
39:38
now, man? It's actually
U1
39:40
we we don't really talk about that much
U2
39:43
now. We got plenty of other cooler stuff to talk about. Like, the
U1
39:46
only thing that comes up literally thought you brought it. You know, you brought up, like, how you got rid of your platform. Let's mount it. Other than that, we don't bring it up.
U2
39:56
Yeah, actually don't miss half of that stuff. Anyways.
U1
40:00
I'm not on there a lot honestly. Like I haven't and I not even like don't have notifications on and miss people's birthdays.
U2
40:11
What? 2s Yeah, you do. Oh gosh that's okay. Forgive you I think it's actually kind of funny. We're pros. We're dudes. We don't we don't need to remember anniversaries and birthdays. That's dumb stuff. We only
U1
40:26
got five months until we hit our annual Tiger game on Easter.
U2
40:33
Oh, yeah. Gotta come back. We got. We have to make that a tradition. Dude. Dude.
U1
40:37
Five months. You believe that?
U2
40:40
Uh. God, where did the time go? For real? Oh, well. Well,
U1
40:44
don't believe Christmas is, 2s what, six days away? Geez, dude,
U2
40:51
like I said, I did so much work preparing for Halloween. How about doing crap? I don't know the rest of the year? Just. Just gonna work, dude, I'm good with that. And then maybe go watch some Nick cage movies
U1
41:08
and the Lions tonight. Yeah, another Monday night game, man. Oh, gosh. Hey, before. Since I know my my 13 year old doesn't listen to these, which is hilarious. Um, God, if he found out his brother was dating his teacher, he would get so mad. 1s We had a DJ at my party. Dude was killing it, man. So fun. And some of the ladies were trying to egg on my son to try to assist this teacher out there. Trying to get the DJ to play Van Halen for teacher. Well, my kids look. My kids look young, I look young, so was my wife. We all look young. And this, he's like, no way. He thought my kid was in school and that was his teacher. He goes, I'm not playing that. So the end of the night.
U2
42:04
He goes, man, I'm so sorry. He goes, I thought your kids were still in high school. I was like, they're like, out of college, dude. Like, they've been deployed to the Middle East and like, they're not in high school, right? He goes, I had no idea, man. He goes, I'm sorry. Didn't play all their song. I thought that was hilarious. Shit. I'm like, you know what? Because of that, you're coming back next year. Don't leave your
U1
42:31
business card because I'm not handing it out.
U2
42:35
Nah, man, that guy was dope. I'm bringing him back. You know, it didn't cost that much. Of course. That's my wife telling me that you could have cost a fortune for, like. No, she's like, she don't want to tell me what anything cost. I'm like, that's okay. Anyways, our man, let's get ready for the Lions game Monday night. La la Raiders I can't even it's not even LA Raiders Oakland Raiders. It's Vegas Raiders that's already say like. And this is a team that the bears beat. Think Detroit's going to go big anyways. You got any parting words to leave our guests with Halloween tomorrow.
U1
43:12
Just remember don't wear
U2
43:14
black. Can you do me a favor? When you talk to your kids, the friends, the parents who he's going to hang out with, can you ask them where they plan on taking the kids candy to get x rayed?