Christmas Survival Guide Pt 2
U1
0:09
Merry Christmas and welcome back for part two. Let's discuss this upstart elf and debate the best holiday movies. Keep it cushy.
U2
0:18
Here's something else I want to talk about. Elf on the shelf and how stupid this thing is. And everybody talk about the magic and Christmas. I've talked to a lot of people, and it's not the dads doing it. And here and I'm a Christmas guy, I'm the one who's doing all sorts of traditions, right? That's not one I'm buying off on. Do you do Finnish? No, I do not. In your house,
U1
0:43
Noel never made its way to my shelves.
U2
0:47
Do you think it's a mom thing?
U1
0:48
I know his mom does do it.
U2
0:50
And, uh, for the for his sisters. Yeah, and I want one elf. It used to be for him, too. And I want to say that one year he asked me why he wasn't here. I could be mistaken. No, I don't
U1
1:03
remember. I don't remember that. I'm saying I don't know if he asked. 1s Or he did like I feel like he did, but I don't remember if I was us. I think I was more or less like, hey, there's only one one else for each
U2
1:18
kid. You're like, listen, Santa comes to both houses, but the elephant has to pick. He only gets to pick one.
U1
1:23
Let's talk about the ridiculous, the ridiculous things that these people have these elves do, though.
U2
1:31
I for real? Like you probably see it. I used to see it a lot on the social media, and just thinking about if you put yourself in those shoes, just the stress you've had the last three weeks. Everyday you gotta come up with something different. Every seems
U1
1:49
like everybody tries to outdo everybody else because it's social media, right? Because they gotta take a picture, look with the crazy antics are down on the bio, then it's too much. You almost need to think
U2
2:05
again. I know right? You almost need to play playing this out. And now I'm a planner, so I would I would definitely if I had to do this, I would plan this out. Here's what day this is what it's doing. Done. Take the decision fatigue out of it. But you know what? In reality, what probably happens. Somebody freaks out and they're like getting annoyed and stressed out, like, oh, why do we do? Why do we agree to do this crap? I don't know, I'm gonna have to ask some other parents what the deal is. Why that self that's induced?
U1
2:34
Well, what happens if you miss a day? What happens?
U2
2:37
How do you how do you explain that? Because okay, so what are the rules? Do you know what the rules are?
U1
2:42
I don't even I know if it's touched. I think
U2
2:46
you. Okay, here's where it started. You can't touch it. It started from some lady trying to make a side hustle. Wrote a book and they mail you a I don't know, maybe they mail you book, but they mail you the the elf, and you have to name it. There's a whole naming ceremony,
U1
3:05
right? Right, right.
U2
3:07
Okay. I didn't understand why everybody. I just thought it was the elf, you know? No, man, everyone's got these dumb names. I'm like, who named that? Oh, the kids name it. That makes sense. Uh, they probably named it Dasher. Anyways. 1s Uh, so the parents, uh, should have went with Blitzen. So the parents move it around every night, but the kids aren't allowed to touch it. And I've seen these videos, and it makes more sense now. I see these videos where, you know, imagine a three year old doesn't know he's just playing with it. It's a doll, right? And all their kids are freaking out.
U1
3:40
So I seen a post on TikTok where this these kids were having a meltdown because somebody touched it. Dude.
U2
3:48
You're like, that's it there. So there's two. There's too many. There's too much opportunity for this thing to ruin Christmas versus the benefits of having it and the stress it brings. So. Married dad. Single dad. Life hack advice. Don't do it. Don't ever start. Hopefully it's a fad that just goes away.
U1
4:08
Just don't even start. Don't even introduce it.
U2
4:12
But you know what? You know, the sad part about it is, though, is now your kids going to school and other kids are asking, what? And you're off to
U1
4:21
my shit to sink again.
U2
4:24
I know, oh my gosh, that's. We need to start a movement. We need to tell these parents, hey. We're in this together. Let's stop making some some rando company making millions off of these elves. Let's
U1
4:38
not do it. One of the most ridiculous things I've seen is when. When? When the elf does a snow angel and flower, it's like, dude, that's. They were everywhere. All over the elf. Yeah.
U2
4:53
Listen, there's just there's too many moms on Pinterest dealing with this nonsense. It can't be doing this. Uh,
U1
5:00
owning an elf is slavery and will put you on the naughty list.
U2
5:04
I interviewed my son this morning, and I asked him what his three top Christmas movies were. Very interesting. By the way, I'm going to ask you the same. Give me your three top movies. Christmas movies. I'll even take some honorable mentions. Let's
U1
5:21
do you. You're gonna say you're gonna. I
U2
5:24
probably have more. You've got
U1
5:25
ten. Well, I know I have. I would say five that I go to every year.
U2
5:29
Oh, okay. You can tell me. Let's start with five, then. What do you got?
U1
5:33
Number five, the animated Frosty the Snowman. Oh,
U2
5:38
stop. Stop motion 1s claymation. No, that
U1
5:42
was the actual cartoon.
U2
5:43
Oh, it is a it is one, isn't it? Frosty. All right, all right, then I'd
U1
5:49
go with the claymation. Rudolph
U2
5:51
got still a banger right after. How many? What, 60 years?
U1
5:56
Dude. It's nuts. Then I would go with, uh, Home Alone.
U2
6:02
Okay. 3s Does that one? Does that one hit home with you? Why does Four Christmases ranked number two? It
U1
6:13
it's because it's funny and it's well made and it's just funny because there's a little. Yeah. But no, not really. It's just a funny show. It is a funny Christmas movie. Then no one is Christmas vacation. Oh, really? That one. Uh, I will say Christmas vacations number five for me, which is funny. This is your number one. The, uh. I love the idea of Clark. Plus, you know, I'm in Chicago a lot, and it's crazy how many holiday movies take place in Chicago. I have no idea why I home alone. That's another one. Clark Griswold. Yeah. Chicago. Oh, man. It takes me back to, you know, me growing up, and I'm like, wow, man, is this, like, what Christmas is supposed to be like? And everyone's like, house, uh, arguing and fighting over a Christmas tree. Wow.
U2
7:10
Oh. Their lights. You
U1
7:11
know, some honorable mentions. But maybe we'll get to that. Let's see what your top five is, though. Yeah. Let's. Okay. Because, you know, you're indignation. You're like, here's what I had to leave out. Oh man I'll say yeah Christmas, Christmas vacation. Uh, definitely number number five. Number four for me is Die Hard. And I will fight over that being a Christmas movie, because then we're going to have to really debate what defines a Christmas movie. Right? I had to debate my son. He he liked Nightmare on Christmas or some Nightmare Before Christmas. I was like, is that a Christmas movie or a Halloween movie? He goes, well, there's Christmas. Halloween. Yeah,
U2
7:51
that's what I said. He and he's like, There's Christmas stuff on it. They wear Christmas things. I'm like the die hards of Christmas movie, dude,
U1
7:58
I've never seen that movie.
U2
8:00
Uh,
U1
8:01
The Nightmare Before
U2
8:04
Christmas. Me neither. And he was shocked. He was like, why not? Because he looked dumb, you know?
U1
8:09
You know what else I haven't seen? What? Miracle on 34th Street. Me neither. I don't like old movies. Maybe. Maybe I'll go watch it. But you're a classical guy. You'd sit there and talk
U2
8:19
about Frosty and Rudolph. But. But not that one didn't make the cut.
U1
8:23
And I've never watched It's a Wonderful Life.
U2
8:26
No, those look stupid as hell, man, I those aren't going to hold my attention. Do they age well?
U1
8:32
Well that's they everybody loves them. Knows you talked to other people. They're like, oh those are great. So I'm like, well, maybe one day I should sit down and watch it. But I just had never have. Uh, that's gonna take some time commitment for me. And it's gonna be hard for me not to feel bitter and make fun of it. All right. What are we up to? Number three. You're number four.
U2
8:51
Yeah, that was Die hard.
U1
8:52
Four was die hard. Die hard. Okay, number three,
U2
8:56
I'm going to go with eight bit. Have you
U1
8:58
ever seen it? Never
U2
9:00
even heard of it. This one is relatively new. Came out 2 or 3 years ago. And it revolves around eight bit Nintendo around Christmas. I think that one takes place in Chicago too. I got to look that up. That'd be funny. Uh, Neil Patrick Harris, he's just a dad wanting to spend some video game time with his son and relive some nostalgia. And it's hard, heartwarming kind of
U1
9:24
kind of hits home with you, huh?
U2
9:26
Yeah, it did. And that's why does that bring a tear to your eye 100%? And I'm not a man of many emotions. I get too many emotions this time of year. Um, 1s uh, and empathy just takes over, so it turns out, moral. His story was they had a great Christmas without any video games, and they basically the dad made a
U1
9:49
Christmas tree crying because he didn't
U2
9:51
get to play video games. Pretty much. Pretty much. Uh, number two. Definitely. Home alone, uh, again takes place in Chicago. So
U1
10:01
you see, they're coming out with a new one.
U2
10:04
Like with Kevin McAllister's grown up. He looks creepy to me. Yes,
U1
10:08
he does look very
U2
10:10
creepy. When I was growing up, everybody in my neighborhood look like Marv from Home Alone. And now I'm an adult, and I'm like, ah, everybody looks like grown up Kevin McCallister. Nuts. 4s Are number one, which I know is going to make your honorable mentions because you didn't mention it. And that's elf man that I mean, 1s the funny things about that movie where they take they tie in the old 60s like some bits with claymation or just how unaware, like Buddy the Elf is, so unself no self-awareness whatsoever. And it was the best, I'm telling you. Like he was eating his bubble gum from the subway, or he was so shocked at the hey, you want to talk to someone in the bathroom? These toilets are ginormous. I mean, it hits it. James Caan plays the straight man who's pissed off. Amazing. Plus, that one also made me cry because there's, uh, singing involved in the holiday spirit. So what do you got for honorable mentions, man? Well,
U1
11:16
that, uh, that one's never made me cry. One that made me cry at the end this year, honestly. And I don't know if it's the time, but, uh, Fred Claus, you ever watch Fred
U2
11:30
Claus? No. Is this, like, Santa Claus brother or something?
U1
11:35
Yes. Yes, dude. Fantastic. Well,
U2
11:39
what would life be like with Santa if he had? Yeah, if he had a brother like Clark Griswold had, like, a brother in law and, you know, Cousin Eddie or something? I don't know. Save the neck for me, Clark.
U1
11:55
Another honorable mention.
U2
11:56
Oh, you got Christmas story. Okay. Um. That one. That one does not take place in Chicago. That's that's Ohio.
U1
12:04
Ah! You idiot. It takes place in Hohman, Indiana. Apologies to the audience.
U2
12:11
I. I quote that movie way too much, but it doesn't crack my top ten. But it's that's a banger too. It's good. Imagine trying to give your kid a BB gun. This day and age. 3s I mean, just I have neighbors that that have lamps that have that. It's fragile. You know, it must be Italian and so fragile,
U1
12:38
right? I almost, almost bought a mini one from my dad, but I decided
U2
12:42
against I got I walked my neighborhood and neighbors got it out. Love it. Oh, man. Uh, let's
U1
12:47
see. And then. And then you gotta just go with the cartoons from from that era, dude, like Flintstones Christmas, Yogi Bear's first Christmas. Um, I know there's another one I'm missing.
U2
12:59
Well, there's.
U1
13:00
It's not a Charlie Brown Christmas. Oh, God. Yeah, they got a holiday special for everything that Charlie Brown, I will say, the one I got two movies I need to watch this year. Apparently, my youngest son, his favorite is this movie called claws. And he. The way he explains it is so wrong. I gotta watch this because it sounds hilarious. Um, what he he goes, oh yeah, this guy got kicked out of, uh, uh, post postmaster mailman boot camp. And it turns out it's a postal academy. It's like a school. You're like, oh my God. Okay. And then they go to the North Pole. It's not the North Pole. It's just some town like north up in, you know, in Norway. It's ridiculous. So him explaining it badly makes me want to watch it. The second one is a marvel special. Guardians of the Galaxy. Have a Christmas special out with Kevin Bacon. Uh, would have been better with guess Who, Nick cage, 1s but I'm gonna have to watch that. So that's my two to watch. I'm definitely gonna watch those before I watch. Miracle on 34th Street. Get the fuck out of here! I'm not doing that. Are. 1s You get on the honorable mentions? Any other indignation I left out? What should be on the list, you think? I think that's it.
U2
14:15
My only other honorable mention Gremlin camp. That's the one I want to watch with the kids because it's, by their definition, fits the bill. It's Christmas time trying to get the gift. But a
U1
14:25
lot of these that you listed here I've never even heard of,
U2
14:29
like the only one you didn't hear of was eight bit and clause. Oh,
U1
14:33
and Polar Express. No, I'm talking the list you gave me.
U2
14:38
00I gave. Okay. So the list I gave you for the audience, you know, listening in from. Yeah. Over the last few years I run a office poll. Um, it's some, it's basically things to do essentially for, you know, holiday potluck, you know, end of year recaps, wrap ups, whatnot. And so I interview or basically ask everybody in the office, I'm like, hey, what is your give me your top five holiday movies. And every year it's different because I have a different team. And uh, what? Since you have the list, I don't have it in front of me. What were their top five from my coworkers this year? Alf. Elf Malone.
U1
15:20
Okay, it's a wonderful Life. Yeah. 2s I don't know, die hard.
U2
15:25
Oh, Die Hard made the list. Okay. And
U1
15:28
how the Grinch stole
U2
15:29
Christmas. Oh, they love that one. So every. And so it all depends. Crazy, because I have, you know. I did it, you know, a bunch of retired colonels, you know, from the military years before. And the list was entirely different. Uh, usually the older, older, the team, you know, they're going to go with those older ones. But, man, I had so many write ins like I could, I gave them a list of 20. Jimmy
U1
15:55
eight was 44th.
U2
15:58
It didn't get a vote. No one even voted for it
U1
16:01
because no one's probably heard of it.
U2
16:03
That's surprising. I don't know, maybe it isn't, I don't know, but top ten miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life.
U1
16:13
Yeah. So maybe we are missing
U2
16:15
something. Usually when my team gets older. Prep
U1
16:18
and prep and landing. I've never heard of that. Me
U2
16:21
neither. Dude.
U1
16:23
Christmas Carol. Holiday. The holiday.
U2
16:28
So the ladies picked holiday quite a bit. And that's like a rom com, I think, oh, you might as well go with the hallmark movie specials at that point. Oh
U1
16:39
oh, Mickey's Christmas too. I forgot about that. That's a good one.
U2
16:43
Uh, yeah. Someone someone loves seeing that on the list that that actually made them happy when she saw it on the list as a choice. Oh my gosh. Well, moving on, I got some some kid updates I get I can get some updates with you and yours. 1s Uh, let's see, my youngest son, who's about to be 14 in a couple months. He doesn't know when my birthday is. He doesn't know what day his mom's birthday is. He doesn't know what day his brother's birthdays are. And I feel like if I don't start. 1s Yeah. Enforcing some forced, you know, gratitude and love. This kid's going to go through life self-entitled like everybody expecting everybody to know his birthday. But he doesn't even know his brother's birthday. That's insane to me. And I can't tell if he's if he's I don't know, man. If he's gaslighting me or just messing with me, I don't know. Is that is that weird? He's just waiting
U1
17:42
to see if you're there to pick up the pieces
U2
17:45
again. Oh my gosh.
U1
17:46
So maybe you should start. Let me ask your son's 11. If does he get an
U2
17:50
allowance? No. So
U1
17:52
he doesn't have money to buy anything. How's it going to buy
U2
17:54
anything? That's another thing. He he did some odd odds and ends for one of our friends. And they paid him, like $150 for working like three hours. And I'm like, what? So I was like, hey, let's use this money to buy Christmas gifts. And this was a big fight. And he comes up and he goes, no, he goes, in fact, here's $100 buy me PlayStation credit. I'll use the $50 for gifts and we're like, no. And it was like back and forth like he that's how he thought. And I'm like, are you serious right now? He goes, no, I'll make more money. And he goes, I'll just buy gifts when I make more money. Guess what? He didn't make any more money. So. So his mom takes him out to buy gifts and, uh, you know, she she she had to pay for it, which means I had to pay for it, so. And that that's just that drives me crazy to all these gifts my wife gives to all her friends for all their December birthdays and all that that's coming from me. And I'm just saying, my wife's friends better be grateful. Um, 1s some bullshit I'm bankrolling. That nonsense. Um. Oh. It's what a happy wife. Happy life.
U1
19:06
Well, I mean, I guess that's one of the the downfalls of being married. See, I don't buy anybody Christmas gifts or
U2
19:12
birthday gifts, whatever. There's so many more positives. That's nothing. 2s That's that's a small. You got to pay the tax, man. You gotta pay the tax. Like
U1
19:22
I'll meet someone at the bar, buy him a beer, a merry Christmas, happy birthday.
U2
19:26
Like, that's a quality of your investment, buddy. So honestly,
U1
19:30
I, I may have I may have said that to you at our Easter game. I might have been like, Merry Christmas, happy birthday, and happy Easter. Drink this one beer with me.
U2
19:39
You did. I did want to drink a beer. And you made me drink that overpriced piss water. I
U1
19:44
made you drink it. I shoved it down your throat and that. And we made. We made too much of that to work out. Weird. And now we'll always remember that. Oh. That's funny. Well, let me here's another situation. Since my wife is super extra giving, you know, during the holidays, she bought my son's girlfriend a present. I'm like, you're coming on too strong, man. We're gonna scare this girl away. Yep, yep. Uh, but, hey, she's got her way of doing things, so. No,
U2
20:16
I don't want this. This girl to feel like she has to buy us some time. Obligated
U1
20:21
to stay around, then. Yeah.
U2
20:22
Just like, hey, we're paying you off. Stick with our son for a little bit longer, would you?
U1
20:29
Just at least through the holidays.
U2
20:31
Oh, man. All right. Got any updates on, uh. That does remind me of another situation. I'm gonna save that for the advice, but through the holidays, uh, Connor updates. Man. What? You got anything cool?
U1
20:44
Um, he should be getting his report card. Uh, yesterday was his last day of school for the second quarter, so it's probably actually out now that I think about it, because, of course, they don't send it home anymore. It's all on a web page. You know what I mean? So I haven't made it that far yet, but I am very proud. Proud, uh, parent moment here. He. Had to read at mass on Friday in front of.
U2
21:13
Do you know how
U1
21:14
hundred people. Yeah. How
U2
21:16
terrifying that could be. I would
U1
21:17
be oh, I wouldn't be. Dude, he didn't stutter. I'll give her him. No, I mean, he was reading from a piece of paper, you know, but it wasn't until
U2
21:28
public speaking can be terrifying for people, let alone 11 year old.
U1
21:33
Loud. Clear it was. I was very proud. This kid's going places because like I said, dude, I had a speech class in college. Well, 15 people, I was nervous, I know, and I was reading from my assemblies up there. Knocked it out of the park.
U2
21:48
Yeah, this podcast I can see I can tell he doesn't get his public speaking skills from you.
U1
21:54
No, not at all. I don't know where he got those from.
U2
21:58
I had to sit through my middle son's, uh. He had to do a speech for college a couple of weeks ago. And you needed an audience. You needed to film it, and it was like, oh, it was so horrible. And I'm like, I got questions. And he was like, he's flipping through his papers. He's not organized. I'm just like, I'm going to find out what his grade was, but probably was not as a type work. Oh, it was funny. And he's he's 22 and he gave me an early Christmas present. Let me know that he is not going to go to college next semester. And for the life of me, 1s that one cuts deep, man. Um, because he's prioritizing all the wrong things like work, um, social activities, um, and I and I don't know how to tell him that the one difference in life. Like the most, I guess, influential decision I ever made to to to basically show why I'm here other than, you know, married my wife because trust me, we all know I'm not who I am or where I'm at without her is probably finishing my college degree and I could I, I just don't know. And I'm going to have to I have to figure this out. Jimmy. How do I convince him that it should be a priority? I don't know.
U1
23:23
Yeah, that if I think of something, I can let you know. But maybe, honestly, you you should just tell them exactly what you just told me.
U2
23:32
I think he knows and he doesn't care, I just don't. I just want to get wrap my head around the reasoning just because.
U1
23:40
Guess what? What you have that no one can take that away. That's. Oh my God, that's what that's what? Uh, Johnny, not just Johnny's grandpa was kind of telling us once, once you. No one can ever take that education away from you. And then too, it's not going to get easier. Like if you would have just stayed in school from the get go, he'd be done in a semester like this, constantly stopping and starting. It's not going to get easier the older you get. And I only say that from experience 100%.
U2
24:09
Try going right to work in 12
U1
24:12
hours. Shit. That's what I was going to say. Having two kids at home. Uh, yeah. That's. Yeah,
U2
24:20
you're talking about my life. 12 hour shifts. Night school, homework on the weekends, and your. And if I did it and you're telling me you're a single kid that is your time management. That crazy is is the the motivation, the need not there. Do you not see my lifestyle? Is that not appealing? I don't understand. Uh, don't get me started. Anyways. Merry Christmas.
U1
24:44
Yeah. Hey, I'm. I'm here for. If you ever need to talk. It doesn't have to be.
U2
24:50
I know it's crazy because I always try to put out that image, you know, on, uh, you know, sometimes social media, like, do my last perfect, everything's like amazing. And it's not always that way. Right? I got struggles and I got issues, and I want to do I want the best for my kids and I. It keeps me up at night. Right.
U1
25:09
And and that's and that that's the one thing about being a parent. You just want the best for your kid. Like when I was sitting there watching my son read during, uh, mass, I was sitting there thinking in my head, you know what? There might be weeks that I struggle, but seeing that made it worth
U2
25:29
it. It makes it amazing, right? Because you see all the potential and you see what he can be in ten years, it's going to be amazing, right? And it's and don't take that the wrong way. I'm not losing my house or behind on bills.
U1
25:43
I'm just saying I might not be taking trips to Omaha and Oregon. Oregon, but Omaha is a lot cheaper. Not during college where I never.
U2
25:53
All right, man. Uh. 1s You're right. Merry
U1
25:57
Christmas, Mr. Mike. Ryan. I told you I'd give you a shout out o taxes me all the time. I'm still listening. I said, you know what? You get a shout out
U2
26:05
now. So we. I do have a we do have loyal listeners. One in Phoenix, Arizona. Shout out to Mike Ryan who's never had kids and he's living vicariously parenting through us. Uh, too. He doesn't have kids, right?
U1
26:19
No.
U2
26:20
Right. Uh, two got my, uh, my favorite sister in law out in Utica, Michigan. She's a faithful listener. Um, another long time listener. And Spotify is one of my son's teachers who also likes another one of my sons. Shout out to her, too. Merry Christmas.
U1
26:37
Um,
U2
26:39
whatever. Anyways, um, whatever.
U1
26:43
You're not allowed to talk about daddy life. Yeah,
U2
26:46
he's. I'm no longer allowed to talk about my kids love life. All right, um, let's get into our holiday survival guide advice. Rule number one, we got to get the Christmas list early. Start early, and we can't overspend. Don't spend based on emotion. And we we already said we're emotional this time of year. Right.
U1
27:08
Well, that's. That's a different. So honestly, I feel like this year I spent less than I have in previous years because I've started so early that sometimes I forgot what I had. And then I opened that closet and I'm like, Holy shit, I overdid it.
U2
27:24
Yeah, I'll I'll see things throughout the year. I'll be like, oh my God, they'll make a great Christmas gift and I'll buy it like in May. I don't care and I'll save it.
U1
27:32
And yeah, no, I'm the same. Yeah I'm the same way. Like I think last year I think there was I know there was two gifts I didn't give them last year. So that this is too much. I can't find them. So I don't know if I gave it to him like on his birthday. Then last year, I don't know, I don't remember,
U2
27:48
but. Okay. Advice or advice? Uh, item number two I don't know how to say that. If
U1
27:55
someone sends you a Christmas card, take the time and send
U2
27:59
it back. Yeah, man, don't be lazy this time of year. You don't know if that's going to make or break someone. And it could hopefully make their day for real. And I feel like that's why I'm stuck right in damn letters. Uh, don't overcompensate, uh, for divorce guilt.
U1
28:16
For small businesses.
U2
28:18
Yeah, okay. 1s I've told you, I gotta edit you so much to take the cringe out of this holiday special. Um, because guess what? Give a little. Yeah, give a little. Play that. That's that's what she's doing. All right, here's the thing, dude. These kids, even even if they got Santa coming to two houses, you're right. With all the extended family and stuff, they're kind of. They're gonna make out, and they don't care what it is expense wise. It's the quantity. I think the younger they are. Cool. Um, you got another. You got another piece of advice I got, I got a few.
U1
28:50
Don't don't wait till the last minute to wrap gifts. You can do it. And you can do it in sections. Because, man, as you get older, your back just kills you. Man, for sitting there for too long Rapping break it up.
U2
29:07
Yeah, speaking it up. Speaking of which, when I just got done talking about my son and his bad, you know, decision making and time management while we're recording, he snuck into the my office, grabbed wrapping paper and snuck out. So he obviously he's waiting till the last minute. That's on brand. And then he drove off. So I have no idea what the heck he was doing here. 2s But he's not. He's not a parent. That's his good life advice. Um, here's another one. Uh, make make new traditions. Uh, don't go crazy on the meal this year. My wife's just, uh, were doing, uh, she were doing steaks and, uh, you know, some baked potatoes and some extra cool stuff. We're not going crazy with the turkey or the ham. No experiments.
U1
29:51
Well, we, uh, Christmas is out for, uh, big dinners on this side. We, uh, tonight. Okay. I'm celebrating mama's. We're doing pizza and wings.
U2
30:02
That's it. That's perfect. Just like your pizza wings and post-thanksgiving pizza party. Here's the other thing. If you're a single parent, single dad especially, and your and your children are young, I would recommend not going crazy on the meal. I'd go get Chinese food. That's a great tradition, right? That's my tradition. Every year my son will leave here probably about 8 or 9:00 in the morning. I'll come back. I'll watch the first, uh, run of the Christmas story. Fall asleep, wake up, get up. That'll be my Christmas.
U1
30:37
I have a couple beers, I watch football, and then I'll sit there and stare at the mess that my son created before he left.
U2
30:44
I make and be like,
U1
30:45
I'll just get that in a little bit. I'll get that in a little
U2
30:48
bit. I think I got one more piece of advice. The last one for me. Unless you got any more to, um, you're going to have
U1
30:55
to balance. I think that's it.
U2
30:56
Okay, okay. We're going to have to balance the fun gifts with the useful gifts. Um, and you're going to know when the right age is. My adult children, they'll tell me, like, I need stuff to help with life, so that's what I'm helping them out. The 22 year old, 24 year old is like, no, dad, I want fun gifts because I want that Christmas magic. So he's getting fun. He's my oldest son, he's 24, and so I'm giving him fun gifts. Now, when I say useful gifts, this is when we got to do the underwear and sock refresh. Um, I need it. I'm. I'm barely hanging on for real. Um, my wife Santa
U1
31:30
is bringing me some t shirts.
U2
31:32
Oh, my God, there you go. My wife needs new razors, I think. And I should just go out right now and get them. Um, those are crazy expensive. I'd
U1
31:40
wait for I. Dude, I'd wait. I'd go first thing in the morning tomorrow,
U2
31:45
I know it. Oh, man. All
U1
31:46
right, that's mine for.
U2
31:48
Yeah. I mean, tomorrow's Christmas Eve. You can you kind of have to listen if you don't buy all your groceries in all your gifts on December 23rd, I'm going to tell you right now, Christmas Eve is too late. There's really not a lot open. And you're going to have to fight and you're going to be miserable. Don't do this, man. Just I know you're going to hear this, and it's going to be Christmas Eve. And you're like, great, too late. It's okay. We're going to take this as lessons learned for next year, guys. All
U1
32:16
right. That's right. God, don't you forget it.
U2
32:19
This is. I don't know if this episode is very funny. This is a this is like a downer, I don't know, do you feel it? I don't feel very festive. Hopefully. Whatever. I'm just.
U1
32:28
Oh, you'll shoot your eye out, kid.
U2
32:33
Uh, again, I need to watch this with the kids, because no one's gonna know these pop culture references, man. 1s Oh,
U1
32:41
well, hey, listen what we'll figure out as we go. We always do.
U2
32:46
Yeah, and if you get a
U1
32:48
chance. One day at a
U2
32:49
time. I did get a chance to interview my youngest son for some holiday thoughts. And the one takeaway I walked away from talking him for 20 minutes is how how little I know him. Oh my gosh. When I asked him, hey, what's your favorite holiday meal? He told me subway, rotisserie chicken and cheese. He also told me no condiments and never to say raw dog in it, so don't do that. Uh, he told me some new slang words. Um, you ally, and I'm going to use it all the time. You lie, and it's kind of saying you're bullshitting. Like no cap or cap cap. No capping. Capping is bullshit. Uh. You lie. He did say he did explain how slay meant one thing for us in the 90s versus what it means to the the girls nowadays. It's totally different, he said. Riz. He hates it because these dudes are overusing it and it's he says it's like, got that frat boy vibe.
U1
33:47
Uh.
U2
33:48
Okay. You know what? You should let me interview Connor. I want to interview him. I'm gonna ask him the same questions.
U1
33:54
I wouldn't mind. Oh, like I said, I'm off for, uh, the next ten days. So is he. And then, uh, actually, the next time we record, I have a new battle
U2
34:05
set up for you. Why do you trigger me? I get you a setup. I want this setup now. God dang it!
U1
34:14
It's been crazy.
U2
34:15
All right, I'll give you that. I'm a good friend, so I'm empathetic. And I was like,
U1
34:20
Holy. New year,
U2
34:21
new year, new you.
U1
34:23
That's it. There it is. So I would like to tell everyone Merry Christmas, especially this guy on the other side of the mic. Oh Merry Christmas. Yeah. Where's my card? Let's keep it going, you son of a bitch. You see, you son of a bitch! Hey, you
U2
34:39
son of a bitch! I'm in. Oh, man. Hey. What? It's coming. It just hasn't made the box checks. I have, I have, I have a Zelda game heading your way. Oh, cards come with that. Oh,
U1
34:52
you you don't have that Zelda.
U2
34:54
No, no, I, uh, I mean, I have the game
U1
34:58
coming your way. You might have to. You might have to clean it. Oh, you don't have it
U2
35:01
as a complete inbox. A complete inbox nestled with the manual. Now,
U1
35:06
the map isn't with it. Just so you know. The map is not in there though.
U2
35:10
Get on eBay and you get that map and it's it's a little separate, but man, I'm I'm definitely going to get that map. Oh man. All right. New episode. Next year we're going to update hobbies and we're going to talk about some movies. I want to get some pop culture in there with the single dev and take with
U1
35:28
with everything being a little bit different for next year, I think we are going to put some focus on having a certain day that we should, uh, record on and stick with it.
U2
35:41
That's you bro.
U1
35:42
I'm well there's well there's sometimes. Listen,
U2
35:46
to be fair. I have a partner in crime to help me with life and parenting. You don't. And you're. I know it's not the limiting factor that's ideal, but I'm here, man. I'm here to support you, and I'm here to help out. I don't want to put you under undue pressure, dude.
U1
36:03
Hey, it's all good. Merry Christmas
U2
36:05
everyone. How are you, man? To you?
U1
36:07
Well, everyone that listen to the dad's arrest podcast this year, Jimmy and Jesse send their warmest holiday wishes and are grateful for your patience and support. Merry Christmas and have a happy New Year.